He has a nicer ass than I do.....

When I'm annoyed, my cat comes and sits on my arm and then farts. If that isn't emotion, then I don't know what true love is.

Why is anybody here surprised-outraged that a business was worried about a few hours of profit...?

... I had no idea Henry Kissinger is still alive.

You win Jezebel today. Everybody can go home.

I felt nothing, because I knew it was an Apple ad beforehand. Does this mean I have no soul?

jesus took 'em long enough

White beauty is quite idolized in Japan. At least I noticed that in magazines and other media when I was a kid... not sure about now.

They contacted me first, though. And one of them is poly.

Don't worry, I'm not taking it too personally. Laughing it off with my husband. I think I'm a combination of too weird and boring - or just asshole, hard to tell.

Maybe Isha Aran just hates cabbies or something. I mean, she called this woman resourceful.

I scared off two men on okcupid and that's without me trolling. This is why I don't have friends.

My (older) sister had a debit card photo where she looked easily in her late 40's because of really heavy makeup and bad lighting. She was 15 or 16 at the time and looks younger now in her early 30's.

But in the cab company's defense, they are claiming Alexis had worn a lot of make up which made her look older, which is clearly a steaming crock of shit.

How I imagine your face right now:

I'm still waking up and thought you wrote "bomb Everest"... I was like, wtf, people do that? But I feel the same way about people who die doing stupid things with little payoff.

Tell them you don't like Nutella and they will be so disgusted that they leave you alone.

Tell them you're Spiderman... ( ͡~ ͜ʖ ͡°)

But without the dazzling part, amirite?

I trolled plentyoffish once posing as a fat, skeevy Spiderman. Taught me there are plenty of nice folks, desperate horny people, and other trolls. Also, now I'm permabanned. (And feel kinda bad.)