The world must know about my poop story!

Would you rather fight 100 duck-sized horses or 1 horse-sized duck? Would you rather have a rich dad who is a porn star or a poor dad who is the school janitor?

The Brewers haven’t been around for 93 years. This lady’s so full of shit.

True round robin. You play every team twice. Best record at the end of the season wins. They do have a tournament seperate from actual league games that awards it’s own trophy.

This is Leicester we’re talking about here; was there any doubt that their championship finish was going to come on anything other than a fucking Thai?

Trying to get some of Dee’s nuts.

How much dirt does this motherfucker have on the suits upstairs?

To be fair, I think Berman is used to saying, “This has never happened before. I swear.”

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Yes, this might finally put the bicycle kick controversy to bed forever. Just post this once a day.

Among his known aliases: Karl Pilkington

Also of note, walking four times sets a one-day record for people who live in Ohio.

It’s about economic impact, the only thing that will get the attention of the asshats who pass laws like this. Having every hotel in Charlotte packed to capacity with NBA players, Celebrities, Reporters, Sidepieces and Thots and the fans there for the games going to restaurants, seeing the sites, spending money is…

Why are we surprised that cyclepaths are killing people? That’s what they do. Haven’t you watched any of those Hannibal shows?

Two Brazilian cyclists died? That’s horrible. How many is a Brazilian anyway?

Officials became suspicious when he punctuated a drive in the lane by yelling, “You Millennials are entitled.... to getting dunked on!”

I’d criticize school staff for not seeing through the ruse, but in all fairness, nobody’s ever met a 30-year-old from South Sudan.

I mean, it's no 700 ft. marble race, but it was all right.

This sounds suspiciously like the beginning of Too Many Cooks