Lions parking lot butthole-eater.

Kluwe, Le Batard, and Lions tailgate butt eaters 2014

Jose Canseco's Finger, if only for the fact that it would look amazing as a HOF plaque.

I can't believe he had to drive all the way to Temecula to find a vegetarian.

I'm still driving around the country looking to fight yo ass.

Jansen, better known as the hardest working man in Tallahassee.

We're always happy to dump on ESPN when they screw up, but submitting a well-researched public records request on a subject of legitimate public interest in the expectation that it won't be sprayed all over the internet on Christmas Eve in an attempt to dampen its findings is definitely not an area where they screwed…

This vulgarity doesn't belong here…..

Hey man, just wanted to say I've really enjoyed this series and this most recent post was by far my favorite. Keep up the good work (and keep introducing yourself EVERY time ha).

I promise you, the trucker didn't have a legitimate reason to be in the left lane.

Being a no-driving jackhole.

Just from the gif, what the fuck was the red car doing hitting the brakes?

My husband and I have been making the raw eggnog recipe out of the Joy of Cooking since 1978, every year like clockwork, and even sometimes twice in a Christmas week. We have never gotten sick, and neither have any of the friends and family we have share it with. Not saying it can't happen. But after 36 years, we…

Clausen was so mad!

True, but they did lead to us all having 5-10 of those glass, Garfield mugs in our cabinet for years to come.

Another approach, not listed here but totally valid, is to do all of the above, add an enormous amount of rum, whiskey and brandy, and let the entire thing sit and meld for, say, three or four weeks. The alcohol concentration will murder any unfriendly germs (it's basically creamy Listerine) and preserve both the milk…

David Spade had a solid track record when he was on the show and funny enough, when NBC executives complained about some of those cast members during his time there, it wasn't about him, it was about Adam Sandler and Norm McDonald.