#Beckywiththefecklesspetition

Why are all white girls sitting together in the cafeteria?

Why must this fashion resurface every 25 years? The girl in the middle just looked awkward.

Was there some kind of asbestos that causes crazy being inhaled on the set of Clueless? Between Alicia Silverstone, Dash, and Brittany Murphy...they have caused me real tsuris.

Which is why her usage is even more baffling. She’s the one guilty of cooning or acting like a house negro. She has one of the worst cases of plantation Stockholm syndrome I’ve ever seen.

I totes read Louis Tomlinson has Lily Tomlin and thought, “She has a baby mama? At her age?!” Gist: Reading is fundamental.

Ikr!? This could only be more shocking to me if it were Blake Lively.

I really can’t with James, err uh, Jamie King. I hate when girls try so hard to be smart-hot or nerd-hot or the very worst, cool-with-the-dudes hot (a la Jennie McCarthy circa the nineties.

Oprah’s boo only gets 2 retweets. Now that’s savage.

Here’s the thing: Most of us are average as fuck. I don’t understand why some White folks believe that white mediocrity somehow trumps colored-folk mediocrity.

Considering he had to pay her a parity payment, those borelords must have Adam’s pockets looking obese.

Im’ma letchu finish, but I really thought these were the same not-so- extraordinary gentlemen. My bad.

This is one of the most basic of all “basic bitches” line ups I’ve ever seen.

Yes, solely #1.

Wait, that third Chris isn’t named James? Marsden? Goddammit!

Wait, that third Chris isn’t named James? Marsden? Goddammit!

As far as Australians go, the Hemsworths ain’t my type. Team Eric Bana all day. And he’s hilarious.

I read this while eating a burger with bacon and smoked gouda and I’ve never felt more superior.

I knew I wouldn’t have to go too far down to see colloidal silver. I had a professor I was TA’ing for tell students that it cured Ebola. A fucking PhD. Out loud. To other humans. Whose education she presumably cared about.