"If you don't want ipads around stay home."

I purchased tickets for my best friend and myself last night. The Second Screen is only during certain showtimes on specific days. At least that's how it is at the El Capitan in Los Angeles.

I'm usually the first person to knock Marchesa's designs as reductive ("Look it up."), but this dress is actually kind of modern and forward-thinking. I want to see it on Charlize Theron.

Health care in America is like getting mugged: "Your money or your life."

I want to like it. I mean, I do like that it happened. But it doesn't look like much of a change from the status quo, or even much like a collection. There's no story or even cohesive idea around the dresses. It looks like she pulled a bunch of dresses off the rack of the plus size floor at Macy's and sent them…

OK...so why aren't we being given a full page of pics to peruse, like we have been for every other designer mentioned?

I think this is one of the best necklines ever invented. The wide scoop! So flattering.

Dresses like this make me wish I was flat. You just can't wear the high collar stuff like that with these knockers. LOVE THIS DRESS!

"It's so erotic. Just tie me up like a Christmas ham and rub that sperm all over my eyelids."

You guys, I think Courtney Love is as close to Holden Caufield as we will ever see in real life. It's like "You're not dumb, but you're not half as smart as you think you are, and you really are an insufferable jerk. Okay Courtney, everyone is a phony: everyone else has a problem. You're perfect."

um, miley is about as punk as the MET gala was this year

Man, I'm feeling classy. I like to think I'm pretty up on fashion but I've never heard of Narcisco Rodriguez and my helpful brain immediately offered a replacement suggestion: Nabisco? Surely this must be about cookies and runways?

I kept wanting to buy condoms, thinking that it would happen if I were prepared, but I didn't because I knew I'd be fucking depressed if they expired without me being able to use them!

Age: 32

Age: 21
Location: his bed, house by the river
Partner: boy
How it went down: I've always had a high sex drive but throughout my teens, had no desire to share sex with anyone else. I masturbated like a fiend, but never felt the attraction of doin' it with a partner. Then one day, I just wanted it. I happened to be single…

Pull out firehose

I'm getting all kinds of fun new phrases on this page. Although my current favorite is still "sex streaks".

Age: 16
Location: The back of a GMC Yukon (I know, right? :/ )
Partner: High school boyfriend
How it went down:
He said, "I brought a condom. Oh, by the way, there's no pressure here."
I said, "Um...maybe. Wait. Uh...ok."
"Great. You can leave your bra on if you want to."
"Um. Ok."

Three thrusts: Done.

"Oh look, this used…

Virgin™. But very excited to read this nonetheless.

Age: 21

I can't believe they say romance is dead.