I LONG for the days of W’s folksy racism and down-home war crimes. What fucking arrogant FOOL I was thinking he’s be the worst president I’d live through.

This guy knows what’s up

After “Covita” started trending due to a comment Jim Acosta made on CNN the one and only Patti LuPone shared this absolute gem:

It looks like a shampoo commercial for covid-19.

The are starting him on a prophylactic course of embalming fluid.

As hilarious as it would be for him to die of covid, it would be even funnier if he died from his doctors pumping the heavy duty stuff into him to try to stop him from dying of covid. xD

*Rubs Neosporin on chew marks*

If you don’t know how to define a sex cult, than how can you be sure your “self-help group” isn’t one?

Trump continued: “If you want to know the truth, the previous administration would have taken perhaps years to have a vaccine because of the FDA and all the approvals. and we’re within weeks of getting it.”

Trump is on camera live pretty often, on newsfeeds and otherwise, and yet nobody has called him a fucking prick to his face. How the fuck has that not happened yet?! I know all the arguments about reporters having to hold their comments back so they don’t lose access (it is worth losing access, you greedy shits, even…

Now, to be fair to Rand Paul, he’s a disgusting and vile human being who should be shunned by everyone who comes into contact with him, and would probably be considered the most unpleasant and horrible person in Congress if he weren’t overshadowed by the blinding light that is Ted Cruz.

I’m so glad all of these government employees were here to protect me.
-A libertarian 

If you’re in for Trump up to now, is anything going to change your mind?

I don’t think that there is any such thing as “too early to drink” after November 2016.

What is everything directly in front of Donny during the interview?

The locals did Nazi any Germans in the area lately, why do you ask?

It sure beats being below sea-level and getting the Benz.

I bet at those altitudes it’s pretty Chile all the time.

I assume Fist Man is the porn version of First Man, and I’m sure it also makes great use of Ryan Gosling’s taciturn stillness while bearing firsthand witness to the wonders of the universe.