“...while I have great respect for law enforcement generally..”

“That’s what our job is that’s what you expect when you dial 911 when there’s a criminal attacking you,” Lynch continued . . .

And if Dems win in 2020, everyone will blame them, even though the economy is usually due to the previous term’s president. Obama is why we improved now. Next term, Trump will be why we crashed again.

Several women in Texas have gotten plastic surgery in order to resemble Ivanka. The face part of the operation isn’t so bad but the part where they crack their skulls and empty out 1/2 of their brain is brutal.

Except Pence scares me just as much. I’m sure he’s also a white supremacist, too, and he’d be so much more dangerous because he’s smarter. Pence knows how to be quiet about his evil. He’d commit his atrocities calmly, quietly, and with a minimum of press. Pence wants a real life Gilead so badly he can taste it. 

Seriously. This bar cannot get lower unless you dig a pit.

Nope nope nope, taxidermied pets are a dealbreaker for me, and I don’t have many dealbreakers. 

Sounds like someone with whom you would have experienced the best sex of your life, and then woke up an hour later handcuffed to the bed, with her smiling and running a knife over your lower extremities while casually decorating your face with makeup. 

I think you may have escaped a serial killer.

Fuck buddy makes this awfully specific so I don’t think I have a great one, but:

Yeah but that probably doesn’t have awful chrome rims or a tint job that looks like it was done by someone’s blind cousin during an eclipse.

Why does the Maxima still exist? Someone’s got to cut me off in rush-hour traffic without signaling and proceed to stay well below the speed limit.

Jesus. Obama would have met with him and touted his efforts at reforming himself and helping others.

This guy just wasn’t pushing enough weight. I guarantee you that Pence would hop on a plane tonight to meet with the Sackler family.

It’s Mike Pence you are talking about. If Trump were outed as a frequent patron of a sex dungeon for transsexual midgets, the equivalent Mike Pence scandal would be learning that he once kept female goats on his private ranch and sometimes tended to them on his own, outside the watchful gaze of Mother.

They draw the line at drug deals, but dictators, pedophiles, and Nazis are still cool with the Trump Administration!

Stephen Miller is not a Nazi sympathizer. He’s just a Nazi.

Seriously. What the fuck is happening in this bullshit country?

The groom had a grip on Trump’s hand like it was a turkey leg at a Renaissance fair.

How much did you spend on Faraday bags? Currently I found even an Altoids Tin will prevent my car from finding my fob, even if I walk up to the car itself. Though, I would prefer a more sound solution and less mint dust on my fobs.