Wowwwww.

My job did this a few years ago. It's a federal government office. On the menu was "chitterlings and maw" and something called "Hopping John." Yes, this was all planned by non-Blacks.

A few months ago when I went to fill my nuvaring prescription I was ecstatic to find out it was free! So I texted my friend Beth, who is a nuvaring convert because I wouldn't shut up about how great it was, and she informed me that she didn't need it anymore because she was pregnant! Thanks for taking all the joy…

Ugh, go away.

Word on the street is that J Lo. consulted Sheldon Cooper on creating an iron-clad relationship agreement.

I loved how he lost his mind when they brought Mike Rowe to narrate instead of him.

They're the original rose colored glasses, enabling him to see the world exactly as he likes.

Uno memento por favor.

You weren't understanding them before? They get to leave the planet!

I'm avowedly childfree, but I think that the wee in the face is an actual thing. Enough of a thing that Ravelry has multiple patterns for pee pee tee pees. I made some as a gag for a friends baby shower (along with like baby blankets and wash cloths) and she was thrilled by them. So, great reason to not have kids…

ALL ABOARD THE MISANDRY WAGON!!!

shhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

I don't understand why Dornan and Johnson seem so shocked that this is such a phenomenon. It's fucking Twilight fanfic, you're gonna get those kinds of fans. It seems like Dornan especially thinks he's too good for this shit, he played a fucking fairytale dude on a shitty ABC TV show, you're not too good for this…

"The family dog eats its own feces and then licks Sebastian's face"

Hi! I'm actually the server who submitted this story, the one you called a "fucking idiot" (thanks for that). Here's the thing - I described the dish to these women explicitly and they were nodding along and seemed to know what I was talking about. I'm not going to insult my customers intelligence by making sure they…

Could you possibly have posted a more boring comment? I'm going to go with "no."

So many folks are making this argument, that the server should be able to anticipate how very stupid their customers are. Sure, easy to figure out in hindsight...not so much in the middle of a busy shift and when things like what a root beer float is are pretty common knowledge.

Wow, you just really want to make things the server's fault, don't you? Also, re-read the root beer story. He was TRYING to explain when she started shouting at him. So you have one story out of seven that would've been shortened (but wouldn't be as funny) if the server had asked a question or tried to clarify…

And they didn't take 10 years to tell us how they met her, too.

In his case, he looks at all the gluten as he's eating it.