“FOUND AFTER SWALLOWING 1/2 PACK OF GUM IN ROOM AT HOME, EMPTY WRAPPERS EVERYWHERE”

“SWALLOWED A PEN BECAUSE NO ONE PAID ATTENTION TO HIM”

Interesting he is so intent on letting the people of Alabama decide, when he told the people of America that their choice of Barack Obama was completely invalid when a Supreme Court opening came up with almost an entire year left in his presidency.

And lol:

So yea, it means any asshole can have a gun.

The best part is, the well regulated militia part is already taken care of - the National Guard.

I think you need to read the full amendment, bud.

“It’s clear that this is a person who had violent tendencies,” Texas Governor Greg Abbott…

I just saw the Full Frontal episode where Sam features a whole segment on Closing the Boyfriend Loophole... savage. And depressing.

Did you literally not make it to the second sentence of my article

Good morning all! Puerto Rico is a disaster and Trump is being horrid and Lin Manuel Miranda is great, and so is Beyonce. That’s the view from the pedicure chair.

Once upon a time, a poor peasant man stumbled upon one part of a very valuable two-part thing in land that his king had let him farm so he and his daughter wouldn’t starve, and he decided to give it to the king as a gesture of thanks. His daughter had a better grasp of human nature and logic than him and pointed out,…

Q: Which song is this comment about?
A: All of her songs. ALL. OF. THEM.

This song sounds like it was written by a 12 year old after a slumber party gone wrong when someone found her slam book.

At this point not even mediocre wants to claim her.

I really don’t get why people are so into Taylor Swift. I’m still mad she won album of the year over To Pimp A Butterfly. That’s some “Ordinary-People-over-Raging-Bull-at-the-Oscars” level fuckery. I also find her to be aggressively mediocre.

Nice, I was going to go with “vanilla-thalidomide swirl” in order to get a jump on treating your armadillo-induced leprosy outbreak, but yours is much better.

There’s something very precious about graduations to me. I’m an emotional wreck at them, I always waterwork even if it’s just a friend’s cousin’s boyfriend’s sister, etc lol. Luckily for me (or not?), I only had to go through it myself once.

Or you could do what I did. I cut off the entire “cap” part, so all that was left was the square top. I attached a small clear chin strap to the bottom of the square. I then glued a small, black propeller to the tippity top with a tiny battery powered motor with a thin black battery cable that went down to my…

Matthew 69:69: “And lo, Jesus said ‘Bitch, you got saggy and I’m trading up’”