Oh my God the random periods.

Seth Rogen was on his show late last year (promoting the interview before it got pulled). Maher asked him if it's hard to be a comedian because everyone is so politically correct and sensitive these days. Rogen responded something to the effect of, "I think a lot of people who complain about political correctness…

9. I've kept a health log since 1975 with any medications I ever took.

Nah. It goes PETA, then juicing for me for top 2 most obnoxious.

A fetus is literally living off of another person's body, feeding on the nutrients in their blood because they are unable to do so for themselves. Unless you classify tapeworms as people too, that's parasitism.

Hahaha I now want to print cards or have a medalert bracelet made that says "Immunizations: Tetanus, T-DAP, Malaria, Baby Rabies" and give them out or show it off whenever their little heathen gets too close.

My mother-in-law pulls this shit. Every time one of my sister-in-laws spawn, she always makes sure I end up holding the baby. She's trying to make me contract baby rabies, but joke's on her because I've been immunized.

hahaha I love how fucking practical you are. YOU should write a "no one warned me about the laundry" essay that we can all share on Facebook with the caption "so many tears!" and "so true!" and "she gets it!"

You know, after I announced my plans to remain childfree to my family, once the initial stupidity had died down ("are you a lesbian?" "why are you doing this to your poor parents?" "you'll change your mind one day" "you just don't know what you want in life yet") I encountered this type of woman with an alarming…

I think this is fanfic from one of the dudes that were so sorry that they had abortions.

It's ok, In 2 years, she'll have a Mommy blog about her snowflake child who can't process the complex sugars in refined carbohydrates and is allergic to the colour red.

"A pizza" refers to the entire thing. Absolutely no one would say "I want a pizza" and be given a fucking slice. That's why the term "a slice" exists. You are wrong.

Flushing tampons down the toilet is the real horror here. NOT SO SEXY WHEN YOU HAVE POOP WATER ALL OVER THE FLOOR AND YOU'RE TRYING TO GET A PLUMBER ON THE PHONE AT TWO IN THE MORNING, CHRISTIAN, EH?

..whoever would do such a thing...*slides a bottle of ranch dressing into the couch*

Pizza. Who doesn't love it? Why wouldn't you? Oh, I don't know, maybe because IT IS KILLING CHILDREN, YOU HORRIBLE MONSTER.

*raises hand*

I know ediorial staff has nothing to do with ad placement/products but I find this hilarious

If the minimum wage had kept pace with tuition...

Holy god, that was the most canned, rehearsed-sounding speech I've heard in a long while. The tone and cadence were pure Sally Struthers PSA. I kept expecting her to tell us that for just pennies a day, we could ensure that poor Iowa school children would have more than one pair of shoes.