Pats “got caught cheating” the same way Hillary “got caught” murdering diplomats in Benghazi. That’s why we call it Ballghazi.

Alternative facts

Remember when he killed all those dogs? You know, when he had a dog-fighting ring? And then he went to prison? Because he tortured and killed all those dogs? So maybe he shouldn’t moan in public about anything ever again? Hey, I’m just asking questions here...

I know what you mean, I dicked around looking for “cool artistic fulfilling whatever” and here I am, the poor relation with the craptastic job and unfullfilled spiritual needs.  I’d be richer, happier, and ready to retire while still young-ish if I had been smarter and more practical. I always tell the young folks in…

“Hey, it’s your first payday. I know you don’t like materialistic things so instead of a paycheck I wrote you a poem.”

I referred to a couple guys as “hipsters” the other day and boy did they get upset. Apparently the politically correct term is “conjoined twins”.

Went to a bar in Chicago, total hipster neighborhood, to meet up with friends. Some rail thin bartender with a handlebar mustache scoffed at me when I asked him if what his favorite beer was, like I was supposed to know. So now I go to my corporate job every single day and I will move up the management ladder until…

That person’s vote counts as much as mine. Horrifying.

The worst part happened when he discovered that Aaron Rodgers wasn’t actually inside the TV.

15 - Columbus - really???? Ohio continues to surprise me.

Adding a third team to Texas would make the most sense, but that’s really a very iterative change to the league, and not a huge threat to other cities. Considering that Texas’s population keeps growing and that the state is football obsessed, it may eventually happen. The Spurs have done quite well in San Antonio.

When the Browns moved, my dad was devastated. I was mad.

Please tell me someone had those people committed. At no point could a person who did this be considered sane.

Hindsight... LOL!!

Telling someone “not to worry about the money” is akin to telling a drowning person “don’t worry about the oxygen.”

Last place in their division 14 of the last 18 years, including two seasons when their division had six teams. That may be unmatched. Haven’t won their division since 1989. Two playoff appearances in that time, with their only win (oddly enough) being Belichick coaching them to victory over New England. In only three…

George Carlin once talked about “Hard liquor and handguns night” at the ball park. What I wouldn’t give to bring him back from the dead, show him around for a day, and just take notes.

Does that hoodie say “Engineered to the exact specifications of the Cleveland Browns”?