"This is not a drill! It's a hammer and nails... Now let's see if you can actually complete a fucking cross, Tim."

Pretty hypocritical that these amateurs can get paid.

[shakes fist]

Why’s he crying? I thought that underdogs couldn’t get upset.

Rolle: [Kneels to Pray]

GOD: *whips Jets cap on the ground* ME DAMMIT!

Responding to an email received after praying to god for help? Exactly how I ended up with a 12 inch dick.

"And then a garbage truck woke me up at six in the morning; its mechanical claw had mishandled a huge bin of trash and dumped it all over the street. And I asked of the Almighty: 'Really? A Raider?'"

Connect the dots and follow the money, the owner just acquired two thriving paper bag manufacturing concerns.

The Saints are currently a baffling mess.

This technology isn't that new. Actually, the Bucks were an early beta tester for Sensory Logic back in '99, but when they tested it on Sam Cassell the machine exploded.

Isn't it possible that he merely forgot that he had committed to signing with Browns?

I don't know if all of these moves will work, but I have a lot of respect for a coach who can see that he doesn't have the right mix of talent to win a Super Bowl and is willing to take big professional risks and reshuffle the deck. I can't remember the last time an NFL team made such wholesale changes at so many key…

Confusing list. I expected him to use bullets.

DeMarco Murray is flying to Philadelphia this morning with the expectation he will be an Eagle

As far as former Celtics go, Paul Pierce jerseys would have been more appropriate.

hey Martha , what do you think? Is the dress gold and whiiiiiiiiiii

I've written a lot of songs "inspired" by Muse, but they were inspired by Rachmaninoff and other eastern European composers. Unless you're directly sampling, it shouldn't be illegal.

The first time I heard 'Blurred Lines' I had no idea what the song was or who was singing it but it was such an obvious rip off of "Got to Give It Up" that I just assumed that it had all been sampled and the samples had been licensed.