I don’t get Essie, I really don’t. I always, always have to do 4-5 coats to get coverage with Essie, compared with 2-3 using every other brand mentioned in the article. And Essie was liked for coverage? I’m baffled.

I don’t get Essie, I really don’t. I always, always have to do 4-5 coats to get coverage with Essie, compared with…

When I was four my sister told me that Aunt Jemima was my biological aunt. I didn’t question it for another three years.

That’s how Mikey died, man.

That my mother was a magical princess. That all of her old ‘80s bridesmaid dresses were her old princess getup. That she had a crystal ball to keep tabs on us when she was at work. I was very, very touched and inspired that she “married down” for love, and admired her magnanimous toleration of her pushy mother-in-law…

When I was little my mom, or maybe my older brother, told me I'd die if I drank soda for breakfast. It's sad how long I believed that. But I never developed a habit of getting my morning orange juice via Mountain Dew so I guess it worked.

Oh my god jezzies, I humiliated myself. Behold my tale of woe:

When I was 20, I was working at a bookstore and living with my boyfriend, who also worked at the same bookstore. It was a small bookstore, with only 7 employees and when the holiday party rolled around we all went to a bar in Montouk and proceeded to get ripped. I had lost track of my boyfriend and started to make out…

By “Holiday” do you mean the Good Friday when I hooked up with super hot Alex? Or the Easter Sunday when I met him at the family brunch and learned he was my dad’s half-sister’s son?

I MADE A BURNER FOR EXACTLY THIS PURPOSE.

This breaks my heart. I have had many people ask about my column. I will keep writing it! I am trying to find a site to publish my column, but, if I have to make my own site, I will. To keep tabs on my reviews, follow me on Twitter (brandikirch), Instagram (brandikirchgessner), or Facebook (Brandi Morgan…

Losing Millihelen is the Deepest Cut of all.

This news is trash. This blog is not.

Damn I loved this blog. Long may it live in our hearts and minds! Jane, thank you so much for giving me the chance to contribute; it has been an absolute pleasure.

It is an absolute crime that this nation does not do more to preserve its indigenous languages and cultures. The ethnic cleansing did not end with the settlers; it is ongoing. That these efforts must be private endeavours, conceived and carried out by individuals, is unspeakable. Which other democratic, developed…

I hope more than anything ever in my life that she was paid to be there. Not only because that means Trump has to pay people to make him look like he has diverse support but also because she was paid to give zero fucks and read her book. Can she start a book club? Can we pay her to sit and read during all the GOP…

I used to work in a very remote town, while living in my hometown 30 miles away. I was 20 and my Dad had just secured me my very first car to make the commute, it was a mid 1990’s Thunderbird with oxidizing paint, leaked every fluid I put into it, and had shitty gas mileage. Needless to say I was in love.