My go to curse is: May every step you take feel like you’re walking on Legos.

I miss awkward black girl

I occasionally check the missed connections on Craigslist just because one day some stranger will notice how beautiful I am godammit.

Right after I graduated from college, someone stopped me in a drug store and asked to serve as her model for her hair-cutting exam at a wildly expensive local salon. I was just excited and deeply flattered, but it ended up being kind of awful. It took FOREVER, and both the woman taking the exam and the woman grading…

Last year, on the first day of school, I was sitting outside the classroom waiting for my class to start. A bunch of students were already lined up, waiting for the room to open (there was another class already in there).

This is about my twin sister. First day of school, she was in second grade. A boy named Ricky started picking on her. Pulling at her hair, slapping, kicking and terrorizing her. She was scared but nobody did anything. The teacher just told Ricky to stop it but he continued. He was big and an asshole. He grabbed her…

Not my story but ... My husband and his brother attended the same experimental private school when they were small. One day my future brother-in-law decided to re-enact Jaws for his kindergarden class. To make things as realistic as possible, he jumped into the school’s koi pond and bit a live frog in two. Both boys…

Not real school per se, but it’s the closest story I have:

My first day of grade 8 I was determined to impress a boy who had never expressed any interest in me whatsoever, but hey. I had fixed up my makeup just so and spent half the morning with a waving iron on my hair. Finally, I was all decked out in my acid wash best- a whole skirt suit complete with peplum that it’d…

I used to teach elementary art in a really low-income school district near Denver. One student, Franklin, was a third-grader who was homeless and living in a car with his mother at the time. The district and social services were aware and helping as much as possible, but mom was hard to work with due to some ongoing…

When I was in third grade I started school a week late because my family was in Europe. When I got back I thought all my friends would be excited to see me but instead I found out that someone had started a rumor I had died.

My first day of my senior year of college, some girl stopped me in the bookstore and asked if she could take a picture of me for some college fashion blog

you’re god damn right you can take a picture of me for your fashion blog

But what about the lizard crawling on the wall?!?!?

Lots of us aren’t screaming. In fact, I’ve spent a good portion of my life talking to parents about vaccination schedules. And what you’re saying is actually NOT common sense, unfortunately. Vaccines aren’t like drugs, where more vaccines = more toxicity. Vaccines are made up of disease antigens - bits of the thing we…

Every time I am reminded that Beck is a Scientologist, I get sad again. Now I need more tea.