I love this whole story, but also:

My ex thought it was a good idea to move to another state and hide from child support. Since he had such a consistent history of cheating I thought it would be easy to track him down on Craigslist’s Missed Connections. Someone had to know him because he had penis and it did wander. A lot. He also loved to make sure…

It started out as sniffling around the time the first verse ended. Then it went down hard and I thought I would save some pride if I concentrated on finishing the song instead of crying ugly sobs. By the time I was at “Pain is all you’ll find” I stopped singing altogether & cried into the mike - big ugly sobs. I cried…

Cried in the grocery store an hour after getting dumped (via phone) because I saw the type of butter he used. It was Brummel & Brown...haven’t used it since.

Got cheated on. Lost 40 pounds in two months (NOT healthy) and cut my hair off. I was running (because running all the time and living on lentils is how you lose 40 pounds in two months) and my hair tie broke. And because I was not living in a thinking rationally state of mind at the time, this is how my thought…

I started sobbing in the middle of karaoke-ing Careless Whispers. Then I went home, collected everyone’s pet poop & mailed it to his office.

I love this. I hope you were loudly sob-singing “I want to feel the HEAT with somebody!”

Got dragged out of a bar by my friend after I got shitfaced and started crying uncontrollably. The cause- “I Wanna Dance With Somebody” came on and I JUST WANTED TO DANCE WITH SOMEBODY WHO LOVES ME.

This is a really great story and I’mma let you finish, but the image of a drugged-up girl laying intubated in the ICU writing “Beyoncé?” desperately on a piece of paper for a confused, pitying nurse is the funniest fucking image of all time.

Step 1: Cut off half my hair and dyed it bright purple at the suggestion of the cute boy in physics with whom I was now free to make out at will (a delightful fact I promptly took non-monogamous advantage of).
Step 2: Put on 20 pounds of muscle doing gymnastics and ballet, earning an ass that got me proposed to weekly…

I screamed “Fuck you! I’m moving to France!”

I have never personally done anything crazy after a breakup, but believe me, if I wanted to, I learned from the master....aka my mother. A veteran of more than a few divorces, MamaBall knows how to handle things. With Husband #3, who she caught cheating on her with multiple women after she taped our phone (whole other…

Honestly the craziest thing I ever did was nothing.

I have a huge scary temper and about 5 years ago I caught my live-in boyfriend cheating. Like, affair cheating. And I did... nothing.

My only serious college boyfriend and I were both huge stoners and our relationship mostly revolved around smoking out of his giant, beloved two-foot decorative purple bong named “The Mystery Machine,” having sex and playing Super Smash Bros. Melee. He was in the Army ROTC had to enter the service after college. Since…

Broke up with boyfriend of 3 years over the phone (LDR) because I couldn’t let him spend thousands of dollars on a vacation for us when I knew I didn’t want to be with him anymore. Proceeded to get black out drunk at a dive bar with my two best friends - and I mean DIVE bar. Like the lights were harsh, the bartenders…

I was going through a very ugly divorce. My husband cheated multiple times and eventually moved out. While this was going on, I had to change the locks on the doors to my house due to a burglary, and didn’t tell him. One day, he stopped by to get something from the house and couldn’t get in. He flew into a rage and…

That was an absolutely terrible thing to do.

I moved to Jamaica.

I have ex stories, but those are not fun. I do have a concert story to share that I wasn’t able to last week because it was the end of the semester and I had four different things due and had no time for anything else. It is a long story, but I love it.