There is a gloriously cranky woman in Philadelphia who has a bra fitting place and it's the only place I buy bras now. I walked in for the first time and she took one look at my chest and shouted "NO! At least two sizes wrong! Get in the changing room right now!"

My mom did this, too! You haven't really woken up until a 70 lb boxer is bouncing on your bladder

When I was a kid and exactly as lazy as I am now and didn't want to get out of bed for school my parents would just open the back door and let my dog into the house. He would run straight for my room, jump on my bed, and immediately start slobbering on my face and trying to wrestle with me.

Or "How to Miraculously Keep Your Prestigious Job at One of the World's Biggest Newspapers While Completely Sucking Balls At It In a Manner Akin to a Fiery Car Crash Despite The Certain Fact That There Are Probably Hundreds of TV Critics Who Would Write Better and Fuck Up Much Less In Your Position"

I am trying SO hard to not write a dirty euphemism right here.

Damn, fuck the police just took on a whole new meaning.

I once tried to explain to a friend how I - and many, many other women - find the idea of two men together a turn-on. You would have thought I had grown a third head for the way she looked at me! I said, well, you accept that (straight) men are turned on by the thought of two women together, right? It's the same…

I just heard of Chantelle Brown-Young this week (more proof that I NEVER should have stopped watching ANTM). I love her. I think she is so gorgeous. Her photo spread that I stumbled upon was amazing. I am excited to see her in more live shit too.

Chantelle Brown-Young!

I posted this below, but the law seems to have been written to solve too many problems at once. You're correct that there really should be a way to draw this much more narrowly so it covers creepshotting without sweeping in protected activities.

I don't mean to blame you for not understanding that OKC isn't Tindr, but. . . OKC isn't Tindr.

Dear Rebecca,

I have a great idea for your next series. It involves you setting up an OKC profile. And then, y'know. Being Burt. Lots of screencaps.

I know this is a lot of work for you and that your S.O. might object, but I encourage you to ignore all those things in favor of the truly hysterical end results that I…

I'm thinking that not everyone should try to go down to a single moniker, because with her last name dropped my brain somehow registers the cadence of Kendall differently.

Ugh. What an utter ass blossom.

Well, I think a good start would be to call those items/dances/words what the original culture calls them, and not act like it's suddenly amazing or edgy because white people finally realized it exists. It's a durag, not an "urban tie cap." That's what pisses off black people (and other POC) the most, to be honest:…

Welp, she said 'Pretty hurts' right? She did tell us in song and in behind the scenes videos that she's bristling underneath the veil of perfection that, whether she's to blame for creating it or not, she feels bound to maintain? Is that not like a million gajillion people out there?

Pro tip: If you have to find another word to describe what you're doing so that you don't sound racist, you're probably doing something racist.

Solid strategy: stop reading the second you find something to be bothered about. If you keep reading then the rest of the paragraph might fix the problem, and you won't be able to feel put upon and make it about you.