I’ll give you my exploded YETI cooler when you pry it from my warm, defrosted hands.

I...just want a plate of pasta with some sort of sauce.

Yeah, I tend towards hedonism for sure, but I have too many older relatives who spent their final years obese, dragging around oxygen tanks, in the hospital for multiple bypass operations, unable to move around freely, feet cut off from diabetes, etc. In my fantasies I live a wildly indulgent life and then die quickly…

Speak for yourself — I plan to live forever. FOREVER!!!

Also hilarious: gout and colon cancer!

Whenever I’m making seasoned flour for a fish fry, I enjoy horrifying my wife by eating spoonfuls of the flour to taste it.

You could make it Korean style, which is basically just fried rice wrapped in a thin omelet. (I’m assuming you’re OK with the egg element.) I’ve made it meatless by just sauteeing veg (diced carrots, celery, onion, peas) in olive oil, then adding rice. This is also a great dish for fake meats like meatless hot dogs or…

And of course many Thai restaurants make pad thai with ketchup.

These YouTubers have finally gone too far!

Definitely agree that they can be lazy — especially the online ones that are just like a short string of interview responses. But I loved the ones for SNL, MTV and Star Trek, where I do feel that some care went into editing the quotes into a narrative. Unless the writer has a definite point of view on the subject…

Fake Socks™, reluctant A.V. Club commenter: I like oral histories.

I...am old.

I feel like we’re missing the real story here, which is that Prince William has turned into a deer-man.

I will readily admit that the Whopper is a terrible burger...and yet once in a while I get a huge craving for it. It’s probably some kind of nostalgia. When I was a broke-ass college student, there was a Burger King a block from the university library that would occasionally have 2-for-$1 Whopper sales, and on days…

Wendy’s was my absolute favorite (of the big fast food chains) when I was a kid. As an adult, though, I find their burgers kind of meh. I often wonder if it’s the burgers that changed, or my palate — probably the latter — but I’ll never not feel a craving for their food whenever I see a Wendy’s sign.

If you have the space for it, a chest freezer could solve a lot of problems! I have a small (not tiny, but small) fridge, and I don’t actually need to refrigerate that much food because most of my food is frozen (frozen veg and meat, mostly), and only comes out to be defrosted or cooked. It also doubles as a kitchen…

You’re history’s greatest muenster for making these terrible cheese puns.

I took the Lemon Face Challenge, and now I need a challenge to spread the word about tooth enamel erosion. :(

I don’t know about mutant chickens, but I haven’t eaten at KFC in years, ever since I noticed that their chicken tastes...wrong, in some undefinable way. Like, all chicken tastes a little lizardy to me, but KFC chicken is worse. Or used to be, anyway. I live in a town with deplorably limited fried chicken options, so…

I can see it if you’re trying to limit/eliminate meat from your diet but you’re not inherently turned off by it. Since your experience of food is about sight and smell as well as (or even more than?) taste, if you can trick your eye into reinforcing the sensation of real meat, that probably doesn’t hurt the illusion.