I wish someone would make a really butch sounding IUD. I would 100% get an IUD that was called something like "ThunderGuts" and came with one of those Detroit type "this is America, we don't worry about being fancy, we just get the damn job done" commercials.

I'm not really surprised by this, due to my informal survey of however many men I've been with. I don't find that size of a penis small, really. If you get much smaller than that it's small, and then if the guy doesn't know what he's doing sex can be pretty fucking unstimulating. But five inches long is a good size,…

I've got such a weird crush on Jimmy Fallon. He's not my type, I find some of his comedy grating, and I don't even have cable to watch his show. But something about the way he fanboys is just precious.

If they had a Make A Wish foundation for 41 year old ladies who are sad about getting divorced, my wish would be to meet Barry Manilow and have him duet with me on "Islands in the Stream."

Also teenage boys smell.

i believe Cher it will happen.

I can't stand Cher's all-caps-and-emoji Twitter feed, but I'm totally hashtag team Cher on this one. Wear those fishnets, lady. Or don't. They are your legs and you can dress them as you damn well choose.

That is my daughter's birthday. Would it be totally evil to change the clocks so she's having cake at 5 and in bed by 6?

I weirdly hate him more than Pornstache. I mean I know he's not as bad of a person, but Larry pisses me off more.

Poor Larry. Could have been interesting but just never came together as a character.

Polly. Fucking soap-making Polly.

I remember Season 2 Episode 1 I was really worried that they had made a serious mistake by moving Piper away from all of the interesting characters in the show. I don't dislike Piper enough to want to get rid of her completely, but they need to give more screentime, especially flashbacks to the other inmates.

When people like a character named Pornstache more than you, it's time to really take a hard look in the mirror.

I still don't understand how/why Paul Rudd didn't take home an Oscar for WHAS.

I live in Boston and I will be going to this place now. That's awesome.

You're right about Kelly. Joan has said offensive things that were ten times worse than anything Giuliana has said. She's just using this as an excuse to leave.

This is my problem with Fashion Police. I am generally pro-snark, but on the few occasions I tried watching they weren't snarky so much as just plain mean. They were making fun of Nicole Ritchie for wearing silver while being a recovering addict (because needles are silver?). It wasn't funny, it barely made sense as a…

The thing about Joan Rivers was that she was vicious, but she was also self-deprecating. She never made herself into a higher being who was above the people she made fun of. She made it clear that she herself was far from perfect. That doesn't excuse some of the things she said, but it does give her a subtle…

My husband describes the whole two hour experience as if the entire staff had never been inside of a restaurant before and had no idea how typical restaurant experiences were supposed to work. Or drugs.

He knows fashion and is legitimately smart and funny. But he can't save this show. It was Joan's vanity project and, without her, even with Griffin who is funny, there's no real fun to it anymore.