fakeplasticflowers
Fakeplasticflowers
fakeplasticflowers

Bill Cosby spent decades saying Richard Pryor was a terrible roll model for the black community who didn't "deserve" to be on stage because he swore in his act and his subject matter was racy, as if Cosby was the judge and jury of what comedy was. Meanwhile Mr. Clean Comedy was raping women and underage girls. He is a

I really miss Billy Crystal hosting. He was truly natural & graceful at it, unlike the handful of hosts the past few years. I wouldn't mind Billy hosting many more years like Bob Hope used to. But right now it looks like the Oscars are content with having a new, different "celebrity" host the Oscars every year.

if kbell and dax have been doing couples therapy i am once again super impressed and inspired. what a healthy responsible choice for parents in such a unique situation.

Poor NPH. He tried his best, but the Oscars just aren't really his thing. He needs to stick with shows where he can cut loose a little bit, the Oscars a little too stodgy for someone like him.

That kind of reminds me of a wedding I went to once where the couple already had a kid, and the mother or sister or someone made a speech that included, "I'm so glad she found him and got married and had kids...though not necessarily in the correct order..."

Oh I also forgot:

My mother. Who took the opportunity during her toast to give my bride my bronzed baby shoes, saying "This is all I have left to give to you of my Gregory. The rest you've already taken for yourself"

Apparently my parents' wedding was kind of a shit show. There was a blizzard that day, and my Oma totally bit it walking into the church. The priest was drunk (my dad said he could smell the wine on his breath for the entire 2 hour ceremony (mom's side is Greek Orthodox)). Aaaaand the best man gave this toast:

I got an earful for wearing a veil made of antique lace that wasn't completely white. Apparently, it was advertising my "fallen woman" status. As if anyone thought I was a virgin.

My aunt is very much a free-spirit. She is also very much a fan of white wine. These two factors collided during her son's wedding, when she stripped down and went streaking back and forth across the massive picture windows of the wedding reception venue. Then she ran into the water to "cleanse the blessed union" and

When Denise had this hair on the Cosby Show, I asked my mom if I could get my hair done the same way. I think it's just gorgeous.

Reading the Gawker comments, it seems like a big problem with this is that, somehow, white people associate dreads with white people. Which...wow.

Also Kelly and Giuliana were recently praising Kylie Jenner for wearing her hair in locs, saying how edgy she looked...

That is a gorgeous mic drop. I wish I had been that eloquent at 18.

Every year it feels like the Oscars get more and more insular and insider and like they think they are doing us a favor by even letting us watch them celebrate each other based on criteria that we will never understand, but might include doing exactly the opposite of what we lowly plebes would like them to do.

And yet you know when Roman Polanski, Woody Allen, and Bill Cosby die, those fuckers will not only be included in the In Memoriam segment but will have goddamn laser shows accompanied by the Mormon Tabernacle Choir...

YAYYYY!!!!!! I LOVE LESLIE HALL! This song will be in my head all day now.

Was there ever a band so mysteriously popular yet completely without any redeeming qualities whatsoever as Limp Bizkit? Creed? Nickelback?