Except in the real world, almost no employers have dress codes that strict. Even with uniforms, some minor variation is allowed (like... color of hair tie, jewelry, socks, etc.)

No joke. It was this very commercial that got me to start using body wash.

Can I still sing “In The Ghetto”? (in the ghettttooooo)

I couldn’t help but noticed that the driver took his sweet ass time to check on the woman, who was just lying there motionless at the time.

Yeah, that’s the thing. If he’d kept his mouth shut he could claim that he dropped something and swerved accidentally at a coincidentally bad time. But because he’s out there saying all that shit, it paints a pretty clear picture that he was out to send a message.

Ugh. That cat is adorable. /want to pet.

FYI, pretty sure you are the only one at this point. It is a colloquial term used for several years.

Yes. This is brilliant. If the sensors on the ball make contact with the sensors on the gloves for a certain period of time, it is a catch, cut and dry.

Maybe its just cause I don’t really play video games, but this comes off as the whiniest, most clueless, self-indulgent rant I’ve seen in ages. People all over the world are fucking starving to death and you’re writing a 20 page diatribe about how you can’t get your avatar’s hair just right. All the actual shit that…

I watched that show strictly to get my Alex McLeod fix. It was all downhill after she left.

Nobody knows what a catch even is in the NFL anymore, and now MLB is getting to the point where the same can be said about stolen bases.

Glad to see Sunshine getting so many props. Always felt it was underrated, but never realized so many others did too.

So the center can knee this kid in the crotch, causing actual physical harm, but not get suspended? Okey dokey.

*golf clap*

Dating tips for guys: Women are very attracted to men who don’t murder a bunch of people for no reason. Impress the girl of your dreams by not going on a killing spree!

Wrong

My first tattoo, the “artist” decided to make it look like a limp penis unbeknownst to me.

I bet, deep down, he didn’t quite expect to do so well in the polls, and is now taking the idea of becoming President WAY too seriously, which will then lead to his downfall.

Its one thing to math wrong, but another thing to math wrong when you’re writing an email to complain about it!!!

bravo. i’d almost forgotten about that line.