I’m sure there’s some German word for what I’m feeling.

If you are smoking, buy a preroll. DO NOT purchase anything with a THC content higher than 20%, aim for about 12-16%. Decide if you want to sit on a couch or go do stuff, are you interested in head (giggle weed) or body (can we order in?) and express this to the bud tender. Have water bottles handy. One hit is good.…

are you extremely dumb?

She would have shot all the college graduates in the Benghazi because emails.  

I’m really tired of all the “winning” we’ve been doing lately.

Fuck Jeff Sessions and this entire administration using the Federal government for their race baiting bullshit. Pandering to their base because everyone else has abandoned them.

Everyone knows that the Clintons have always been secret Republicans that hate the blacks. Yes, the political couple from Arkansas had to become Democrats to get elected while hiding their black hatred because you can’t do that in Arkansas and get elected.

I mean, is there even a difference?

Good thing we dodged that Shillary. She would have pulled the same shit but probably even worse.

Twenty minutes after this announcement, John Kelly was able to finally explain to the president that the Coast Guard counts as part of the military.

Getting dumped in public is the worst. Do it in private. No one wants to stain the parking garage with their tears. Or get into a car in a rage. Break up with her at her place so you can LEAVE and she can do whatever the hell she wants. Likely, dial her next booty-in-line.

We’re now in a situation where the heads of the US Armed Forces, traditionally some of the most stubborn socially conservative people on the planet, are more tolerant than the President.

True story: the Virginia Bar Exam requires everyone to wear court appropriate attire and soft soled shoes (because VA is bougie AF but also wants to make sure you don’t get distracted by the footsteps of your fellow test takers as they go the bathroom to cry during the exam). The effect: ~1500 assholes in suits and…

Priscilla should just read Ivanka Trump’s new book.

HOME HEALTH AIDES ARE GODDAMN HEROES. Those jobs are fucking hard, physically, emotionally, psychologically, they pay jack shit, the people who do them are often totally overlooked/ignored, and yet they are literal life-savers for the people they serve.

They’re actually not making off like bandits under the ACA, for a couple of reasons. One, the ACA imposes a medical loss ratio, which requires that 80-85% of every premium dollar be spent exclusively on medical care. Before the ACA, there was no requirement of the sort. They could literally charge $1000 and spend $10…

So the Mooch is leaving to spend less time with his family?

LMAO Aimee, there is no fucking way The Mooch would pay for drinks. He is ABSOLUTELY the type to go dutch, although I think Joanna’s strategy has some merit.

He’s right about the Chinese, they are basically all chimera-hybrid AIs that produce human milk and knockoff smartphones. The long con is to infiltrate our nutritious paleo diets with genetically modified rice beef products and make us all lactate through our InfoWars t-shirts. 

Again - they are gearing up for an attempted coup/dictatorship (I said attempted before anyone get’s all “that would never be successful!!”).