*Scans list of best catch phrases*

There are only three times when crying, as a fan, is acceptable and should not be laughed at.

“Aww, man ... you made friends with ‘em. See, friendship is the booze they feed you. They want you to get drunk on feeling like you belong.”

Hi I’m Moe, or as the ladies like to call me, “Hey, you on that poster.”

fascinating to see you include the Bulls there. It’s pretty wild that the Bulls haven’t landed an elite free agent since MJ left twenty years ago.

At least it probably feels a little easier when three different goats can share the blame.

Such heroic nonsense. 

absofuckinglutely here for this.

Looks like he’s wearing two gold Audemars Piguet Royal Oak Offshores.

Im just gonna leave this here.

Rub his nose in it, otherwise he’ll never learn.

Who didn’t shoot? J.R.

Federal law they quoted and policy are two entirely separate things. BTW, love the Midnight Madness reference.

My wife and I have flown Southwest with our son many times (we’re all white, if that matters), and the airline’s explicit policy, which has been enforced every time we fly, is that if your child is under two years old, we must show them his birth certificate (either the original or a copy). It’s always been strictly…

I thought it was standard to bring birth certificates for little kids? Or does the passport usually suffice in place of that? We use the certificates every time we fly, but I’m not sure if it’s strictly required or not.

The Coke Lot two days before the race is what I think the end of days will be. Padlocks on public toilets. Damon Bailey jerseys. Purdue and IU fans living together. Mass hysteria!

I thought Drew was supposed to be on vacation, not going all Serpico for an article..

Great idea - the last time nukes and reptiles were mixed, it turned out oh so well: