Pedantry corner: did not drown. Died of hypothermia.

Ohhh, so that’s why the subplot with the Chicago Bulls was cut.

I work in game shows. It is standard operating procedure to not pay out any winnings until after the show airs, typically 90-120 days after the contestant’s final episode (with some rare exceptions like Ken Jennings, whose “Jeopardy!” streak carried over from one season into another; he got a partial payout during the…

This article *has* to be mistitled, right?

“The Night Santa Went Crazy” is fucking awesome and you should feel bad.

“Christmas Shoes” is a must-listen for me every Christmas.

Sorry, let me rephrase. Patton Oswalt’s bit about “Christmas Shoes” is a must-listen for me every Christmas.

Not having “Santa Claus is a Fat Bitch” by Insane Clown Posse is criminal!

Have the writer of this article and the editor who penned the headline ever spoken to each other?

Mind you, I’m kind of a grinch, so I’m not a big fan of many Christmas songs, but Paul McCartney’s “Wonderful Christmastime” tops the list of worst for me.  It is just the laziest damn song, a lot of the runtime eaten up just repeating “Simply having a wonderful Christmastime”.  It is just torture to listen to.

20. The Royal Guardsmen, “Snoopy’s Christmas” (1967)
4. “Weird Al” Yankovic, “The Night Santa Went Crazy” (1996)

The 30 Worst Absolute BEST Christmas Songs Of All Time, Ranked. There, fixed it.

Reading that made me laugh because it immediately reminded me of an extremely similar line from Broad City, spoken by Amy Sedaris’s weirdo real estate broker character:

We already had a word for that long ago. It’s schadenfreude. There’s no need to believe in cancel culture when we have words for these things. Consequences. Schadenfreude. Boycotts. Political correctness. All the stuff people think of when you use the words “cancel culture”. It’s just a boogeyman buzzword for assholes…

“No, poor people are crazy, Jack. I’m eccentric.” -Dennis Hopper, Speed

She declares, “Make no mistake—my career was taken away from me.”

Ahh yes Tesla, the bastion of truthfulness. 

It was about statistics showing crime rates had decreased.

Apparently she was cancelled so thoroughly by the events of 2016 that I never even heard about the cancellation, despite constantly seeing news about Swift everywhere all the time whether I wanted to or not.

The other problem is finding repair shops that will repair to sub-micron tolerances.

May I recommend the Byrne-Rogan two-hander Platonic. Way better than I expected. Probably my favorite comedy of the year.