“You are the fattest person I’ve ever had the misfortune of meeting.” -Mom

I would like to know more.

There has to be someone affiliated with Deadspin that can pull off the mannerisms and affectations of an adolescent attendee.

As a black student at the University of Missouri, I can't tell you how amazing it has been to see how the athletic department and students of all colors coming together for this.

I feel ya, but if he gets the nomination we have 4-8 years of a Republican President to look forward to and that could potentially be Donald Trump. Independent and swing voters will NEVER elect a socialist and I suspect the black community won’t be running to the polls for him either. It’s time to get real about…

And then your friend heard him terminated the engagement and joined you in firing him to pluto in a bucket, yes?

I still don’t understand how someone who has been married four times can say with a straight face that it undermines her religious beliefs to allow gay people to marry.

I barfed a mid-bj when I was 18, drunk, blowing my then-boyfriend during a party (I know, classy). The worst thing is that I tried to pretend it didn’t happen and then proceeded to try to brush the puke off his balls. He stayed with me until I broke up with him a year later. Poor guy.

You can start your response with something like, “you are 100% correct sir.”

Is it just me or is she not that great of a pornstar? Terrible looking boob job and sub par skills. I feel like people are into her because they get to watch a middle eastern woman fuck. Or maybe it’s just her social media presence.

Not gonna lie that last shot of his Joker was pretty damn cool.

I get that there needed to be some kind of punishment, but $135000? That’s just ridiculous and only adds fuel to the bigots who are using them as icons. And who gets all that money?

This is nothing. The New York Mets have been pretending to be a pro-style team for 53 years.

Jay Z purchased Tidal as a business venture, so it wasn’t the fact that he wanted to profit from it that bothered me. I expect a business owner to do their best to turn a profit.

Yeah I’m not always the biggest T Swift fan but she seems completely right here. If Apple wants to lure people in with a free trial, which is a totally standard marketing move, it’s on them to pay for it as part of their promotion costs. A hotel offering a free night’s stay to new visitors wouldn’t be able to forgo…

Can we all decide to be sick of Taylor Swift now? The friend and mansion collecting. The status whoring. The white-girl feministing. The boy-toying. Enough.

I respect her all the more for doing this, and I don’t think she is just looking to cash in. It is a terrible policy not to pay people for their work.

Forget the ridiculous third reason for a moment. Why do there seem to be so many otherwise intelligent people who don’t seem to understand that the vast majority of the time it’s not appropriate to act on your sexual impulses? Literally everyday of the week I work with and walk by women that I am attracted to,…