When I was in the Navy, I had to serve food for about a month. After noticing a pattern, I informed the guy in charge that we served beets 2-3 times per week, and a total of four people on the ship ever ate them. My insight resulted in beets being removed from the ship’s menu entirely. That was probably the best thing…

I went to Vegas for the first time last May. It was for a reunion of old friends. Some people who had been there before insisted on trying Hash House. They hyped it up to le for two days about how great it was. Finally, the last morning, we went. I was pumped.

I haven't tried these, but "Sweet Pierogis!" is for sure my new default phrase to express surprise.

Although it’s definitely healthier than this, I would also panzanella dolce. Basically you use brioche, bake it with honey instead of oil or fat, and mix it with whatever fruits you'd like.

Agreed, and I'll take mustard-based bbq sauce over tomato-based any day. But that's a whole different thing than combining tomato-based bbq sauce and mustard, and then throwing chili into the mix.

I will admit that I went frequently in high school. I had managed to acquire a coupon for a free burger. Not buy one get one, just a straight up free burger. And it didn’t have an expiration date.

I once went there all excited for a bbq chili burger they were selling with bbq sauce, chili, and onion rings on it. Imagine my disgust when I bit into and tasted mustard. Why would you put mustard on a burger that already has both bbq sauce and chili?!

Why is Hooter’s listed with the rest of these? The defining feature of fast food is that it is made to go. Regardless of your personal feelings about the business model of Hooter’s, I think we can all agree that, if you are getting your food to go, you are missing the entire point of going to Hooter's.

Since it’s tangentially related and we never get a chance to discuss Finnish cuisine (for good reason), this seems like the perfect time to talk about the food of Finland! There is a food there called a “kalakukko.” It’s on my list of Finnish foods to try. It is an entire fish baked into a loaf of bread, bones and…

Except that Helsinki is having the hottest summer they’ve ever had. Granted, it’s not getting THAT hot compared to parts of the US, but AC isn’t really a thing there because their average high in July is usually in the low-to-mid 60s. Right now it’s going about 20 degrees over that

Can we submit our own burning questions here? Because this reminded me that I still don't know how to tell when blue cheese has gone bad. And that is a problem.

Imagine having a job where you have to perform some mildly unpleasant tasks. I guess it’s lucky that I take great pleasure from every conference call I have to attend.

We should probably proactively call CPS on anybody who lists “YouTube Prankster” as their profession. We can be certain that they’re at the very least an unpleasant role model.

I feel like Chuck E. Cheese should be exempt from health guidelines. Nothing they do in the kitchen could make the food less sanitary than any given surface of the play area.

This kid got full-on Tom Sawyer'd though, right?

There was briefly a chain of burrito restaurants in Grand Rapids called Donk's. For some reason nobody would ever go try it with me, and for some probably totally unrelated reason they all shut down after a year or two.

Except for ocean water, which I could make at home, but I never will.

I like to use flavored ice to subtly alter the flavor of a drink over time. An ice sphere made with cold-smoked water will do wonders for a glass of whiskey. Or smaller cubes infused with angostura bitters and dropped into a gimlet, to slowly transform it into a Death On The Gulfstream.

Nopr. Should I be?

Call her a racial slur, but make it one that doesn’t actually apply to her race. Then she can't be offended, but she probably won't try to be your server anymore. Problem solved!