Honestly, this is no worse than margarita mixes, which people seem to use for some reason.

Pop-Tarts are leavened. I know this because I used that in a similar debate about whether or not they count as ravioli.

By your reasoning, then, a Pop-Tart would be a sandwich. And I feel comfortable in declaring that a Pop-Tart is objectively NOT a sandwich.

I started appreciating wine mostly BECAUSE it was so cheap when I was living in Italy. 5.50 euro for a 5-liter jug. I heard rumors that I could take the empty jug back for a 2-euro deposit return, but I wasn’t about to make the walk of shame across town with an empty 5-liter wine jug every few days.

I assume that's roughly the same age at which people begin to appreciate gin. It's certainly not a young person liquor, mostly because it's not good as a shot or mixed with cola.

This joins Chipotle's burrito bowls in the ongoing effort to trick people into eating salad. Zucchini are not noodles. They are vegetables. This is a salad.

Way to avoid the real question: if you make banh mi with human meat but don't use a Vietnamese person, is that cultural appropriation?

It’s not color changing, but Finnish distillery Kyro makes a gin called Napue that is the best gin I’ve ever had, and it just became available in the states. It’s hard to find, but you can get it in NYC and have it delivered to certain states. I have a bottle of that and another gin from them (Koskue - also supposed…

I eat McDonalds maybe twice a year, so it’s far from the only thing making America obese.

“Nut juice” is infinitely less appetizing, though.

Unless they are utilizing some advanced technology to keep the fries good longer than the 10-minute window one usually has before they turn to rubber, I can’t imagine McDonald’s delivery being a good idea.

Salted because the brand I like (Finlandia) isn’t available unsalted at the store where I shop.

So would you say I should go see some live music because it's hot out therre? Well then it's a good thing I'll be seeing Nelly in two weeks!

If we’re sticking to malls, gotta be the four months when I ate at the mall food court Arby’s every single weekend. I was in school between boot camp and going to a ship, and wasn’t allowed a car. If I wanted to get off the base, I had to take a shuttle, which only went to the nearby mall. By the time I left, the guy…

Ordering a Dragon’s Breath in Quest For Glory would kill you, too, so I'm not surprised about this turn of events.

This is the greatest 2 weeks notice ever written.

You conveniently neglected to mention their greatest source of pride: Marcy Playground.

Yet another reason to be unimpressed by Iowa. This is bush league. If you're gonna eat a bunch of garbage just to say you did, may as well go to Texas and grab a funnel cake queso bacon burger.

What, no Calliou?!

But if I don't use that, how will anybody know that I'm woke?