What if you’re using fancy catsup and Miracle Whip? Is it the same ratio? Someone other than me needs to look into that.

No, but I wouldn't buy a pre-boiled egg in a bag either, and there's a market for those. Eggs are even easier to boil than they are to scramble. I don't understand humanity.

That still leaves you with a snake problem, though.

“Although it looked like the snake guy was egging on a confrontation, even he has has to know that in a weapons matchup, a gun trumps a snake, right.”

WORTH IT.

That's what I came here to say. Strawberry and cheese pies are forever my jam.

Hey McDonalds: is a hot dog a turnover?

Hot take: that article is all sorts of bullshit. “Yes, nearly every population-level study finds that fat people have worse cardiovascular health than thin people. But individuals are not averages.”

Come on, the crumblies at the bottom of the bag are legit, and totally worth working through the rest of the bag for.

Brownies gotta be fudge-like, though. Cake-like brownies can fuck right off.

I would call cheesecake a pie, for sure. It has a crust. Cakes don’t have crust.

Why does a vegetarian even own a Big Green Egg? There are much cheaper ways to smoke a radish or whatever.

For brisket, I suggest dry brining. As long as you wrap it in foil with a cup of liquid once the internal temperature hits 160, you're still going to get a moist brisket.

I have a friend who refuses to even consider moving away from Texas because of her deep love for HEB.

Oh man, I've been living in Louisville for 6 months and I still haven't had a Hot Brown there yet. It's like a mile from my office, so it's just close enough to make me consider a long lunch, but just far enough that I haven't done it yet.

I think technically they ARE dumplings, but probably they don't want to call them that because there is no word in any language that is less appetizing than "dumpling."

“You no longer have to make a choice between something that’s environmentally conscious and something that tastes really good.”

Throw some ranch dressing mix in the cream cheese and put it on pumpernickel. It'll change your world.

Or french fries.

I like apple cider with Black Velvet toasted caramel whiskey. I would never recommend any other kind of Black Velvet, but the caramel stuff is legit.