Oh God, that’s terrible. Makes you wonder why they don’t use the euphemism “cellar door,” which is scientifically proven to be the most beautiful phrase in the English language.

Kevin Spacey is currently preparing his statement about how he’s really sorry if these events that he can’t remember actually happened, and also he is a new type of sexuality that hasn’t been discovered previously.

Never, in the history of spoken language, has anyone uttered a less sexy phrase than “soft-boiled clitoris.”

Nope, not me. Maybe YOU should do something better with your time than asking questions that could easily be answered with a few minutes of digging!

I know; I just miss the days when the articles on this site had something to say.

I like Stranger Things almost as much as the rest of the internet, but what are we even doing here? Is there a quota of Stranger Things articles that someone is trying to reach?
“Dragon’s Lair is hard!”
“Billy resembled these other 80s characters.”
“Steve...Steve is cool, I guess”
“Ummm, this one guy has a band?”

Be the Martha jokes you want to see in the world.

I am fine with the Waltons. They have never wronged me. My hatred of the DeVos family is entirely personal.

Mrs. Taco found some cupcake fabric and very nearly dressed up as Katy Perry and dressed our dog as Snoop from the California Girls video. The only reason this didn’t happen is because our house was scheduled to be inspected today, so we had to board the dog for the day.

Maybe it’s a dog with a VERY realistic costume.

The best thing to come out of this administration is that the rest of the world has caught up with me in hating the DeVos family. Now if only the Libertarians would stop worshipping the Pauls, I might be able to get support in both of my blood feuds.

I certainly assumed that was the case, but apparently the list of people he has had relationships with is almost exclusively female.

You guys, I’m pretty sure The AV Club is keeping RL Stine locked up and forcing him to do these videos until we start watching them*, so we may as well get it over with.

I was doing research before making a joke about how he is going to deflect this by going back into the closet, but it turns out that he’s actually bisexual, so I’m not sure that this counts.

Ummm, how about a spoiler alert?!

There was no intercourse, but he definitely did things that would have sent him to jail.

The “beautiful woman” in question was a 17-year old prostitute whose services he had procured.

Counterpoint: while Kevin Spacey’s tactic of coming out was tasteless, it is NOT the worst way it could have possibly been handled. I feel like Mr. Silvio “It’s Better To Love Beautiful Women Than To Be Gay” Berlusconi could have topped that without even trying.

But how many Marthas were there in this episode?

People do still talk about Garden State like it peed on their Grandma.