I feel like a pear is an odd choice for size comparisons. In addition to basically just being a dirty apple, it’s hard to really gauge the size of a pear, on account of they’re pear-shaped. Surely we could find a better comparison than nature’s most disgusting fruit.

I distinctly remember not understanding the jokes of this episode the first time I saw it.

That’s an incredible name. I have an interview this afternoon with a man with a remarkably silly name, and I had to make dozens of terrible jokes yesterday to get it out of my system.

Man, I’d settle for an Uber driver who would at least act like they don’t hate the world. I mean, why even play the Grease soundtrack if you’re not willing to engage in a sing-along with a paying customer?!

I was surprised to learn that about Eagle-Eye Cherry.

What will happen with his chain of pizza delivery restaurants?

That seems unlikely. You’d be hard pressed to find someone less important than I think I am.

You think poorly of Michiganders, too?!

I would think so. But I have an exceptionally low opinion of Michiganders.

I’m with you on that one. It was the reason I didn’t like the last season of American Horror Story. I prefer to actually be able to see what’s going on.

You have to realize, Michigan has never really recovered from the recession, and a lot of people were counting on him to up-jump the economy.

Based on that picture, Kid Rock is the Bawitdababadook.

“It’s unlikely to effect much real change, but is still a fine idea.”

I love horror movies, but I’ve probably read more synopses than I’ve actually seen the movies.

So far, Madea has gone to jail, saved Christmas, and been scared stupid. If Tyler Perry continues to follow the Ernest model, I would expect a trip to camp in the near future.

I’ve seen that, and I don’t entirely buy into it. But it’s a nice thought.

I thought he made a nice impact on Nadine and Big Ed’s story, which was probably the happiest part of the entire series. Ed and Norma can finally be together. Nadine is on her own, but she seems fine with it. She’s in control of her life, and no longer trapped in a loveless marriage. She has a successful silent drape…

The AV Club has already reached out to all five in order to ask what song they hate the most, and why.

I cannot fathom anybody making that statement about either movie with a straight face.

Russ Tamblyn, on the other hand, thinks that David Cross is full of so much shit that we would all need to buy golden shovels to dig through it all.