I’m starting to think that there may be some truth to these stories!

Burton. Had it been Hillary Duff, that actually would have been child molestation in 2003. Words matter, bro.

If they’re looking for something that other kids will bully them for even more than being a Boy Scout, I guess they could.

A few years ago, I was visiting my parents in Texas, and I bought some Girl Scout Cookies from a little girl. I told her that I live in Michigan, where they wouldn’t start selling cookies for another few weeks, and she suggested that I buy her entire stock and corner the market here since nobody else has them yet.…

Except everybody knows that Tagalongs are where it’s at.

And it sucks!

Add to that the fact that this is coming fresh on the heels of the news that Terry Crews was also sexually assaulted, and this article really doesn’t even have a reason to exist.

He’s a huge fan of MC Skat Kat.

It actually manages to be antagonistic towards both Keith Olbermann AND Eminem, for absolutely no good reason.

I was also reminded to go feed my Neopet. I was worried that it had died, but fortunately, it went clear a while back, and it’s now working for Sea Org for the next billion years or so.

The last time I actually saw a Tamagotchi, it belonged to a guy I worked with. This was in 2003, and it was just short of 1000 days old.

There’s a difference between “knowing” and knowing. Sometimes having unofficial knowledge that a thing has happened doesn’t put you in a position to actually do anything about it.

Obviously, the correct answer is to go back in time and eat Baby Hitler’s brains. You would get some insight into nature vs. nurture, and also you would kill Hitler.

If only so we feel less weird about them hooking up.

Adam Sandler is a good actor with a very limited range. Want to talk about a REAL good actor that doesn’t get the credit he deserves? Nicolas Cage. He may be one of the greatest actors around, because he leans 100% into whatever he’s acting in. If it’s a shitty movie, then that’s how he plays it. If he’s given good…

I think he lies and says stupid shit as a distraction, because he knows people will be talking about it. That’s why we’re all focused on whether or not he made up the phrase “fake news” and basically ignoring our the fact that we just suspended visa services between the US and Turkey.

You could, but I think there’s more to it than that. I tend to rely very heavily on intuition. And I’ve noticed that things tend to go a lot better when I follow my gut, even if there’s no reason for it.

Everyone laughs if you believe in psychics, but most people won’t bat an eye if you talk about intuition, which is BASICALLY the same thing. It’s a werd world we live in; I’m not going to discount the idea that there are things happening beyond our understanding.

It’s not just dogs; there is no sadder scene in the history of cinema than Artax sinking into the Swamp of Sadness.

Meanwhile, Chinese restaurants with ACTUAL Szechuan sauce continue to see no increase in sales.