I knew some girls who were planning to be Playboy bunnies for Halloween and wanted me to be Hugh Hefner. I tried to convince them to be Sunshine Girls instead, so I could be Gunther. When they didn't go along with that, I said that I was going to be Godot and I just never showed up. Theatrical burn!

Call me crazy, but I would happily sit through Leonard Part 7 on opening day if it meant 60 women didn't get raped.

The guy they got to play Superman in the last season of Supergirl was a close 2nd.

If we're going purely by who would win in a fight, cartoons have to be left out. They have an unfair advantage based on the fact that they do not need to adhere to the laws of physics.

Laura Vandevoort was robbed!

"At least you tried."

I went out drinking last week with a farmer that I had just met that night, and we went to a bar where the bartender was the sister of a guy who he had seen die in the war and holy shit did that trigger his PTSD hardcore. That one probably would have been better avoided altogether. Especially because I suddenly…

Also, people writing the word "Fail" over pictures of people having a hard time.

If the inventors of the computer had predicted the internet, they would have called it the pornograph instead.

But Nermal has done great things for trans cat rights.

He won't be shitcanned. He much prefers the pecan.

Sean Hannity, urine denial!

Looper posting them is pointless and stupid. The AV Club reposting them is just par for the course.

Yes, but the main character would be played by a Hispanic actor.

She just sorta…disappeared.

Unrelated: were you the inspiration for this week's episode of Twin Peaks?

Bill Cosby will host a town hall to let you know how to avoid being arrested for it.

Oh. You guys call them Smarties. Please don't put them in soup.

Is that…mushroom soup with M&Ms in it?

I've been traveling to Springfield once a month or so for work, and I make sure to get at least one horseshoe in every time I go there. I'm particularly fond of the breakfast shoe.