I got nothing cheese balls once when I went to a McDonald's that sold deep-fried brie as a limited time offering but they were poorly made and the cheese all leaked out through holes in the batter.

They could make it REALLY dark and go with Stranger Needful Things, and just bring in the absolute worst parts of that book, like the lady who fucked the picture of Elvis, or the lady who fucked Elvis's sunglasses.

That awful David Spade show from a few years ago was a midseason replacement for 3 of its 4 seasons. I didn't know if was possible for a show to be a midseason replacement more than once.

I hope it pays off in the best way someday, and someone decides that they are guaranteed one last season, and will use that opportunity to screw around in a way not seen since the incredible final season of Til Death.

I have to admit to a certain fondness for Moon Pies. The grosser the better. The banana moon pie is particularly delightful.

I like them all except for 6. 5 had the death that stuck in my mind the most, which is when he killed Greta by feeding her to death.

I would watch a movie where Freddy reads Word Up magazine.

I doubt he would be so angry if it did.

I prefer to do both simultaneously.

Well then THIS seems like as good a place as any to mention how I do not find Kristen Wiig to be funny.

I think it holds up as one of the greatest and most underrated comedies of all time. And I've spoken to several lawyers who consider this to be their favorite courtroom movie.

I hope they follow the example of Go Set A Watchman and make Vinny an unabashed racist for no goddamn reason.

I, also, cannot draw horses. Just one more thing Maurice Sendak and I have in common.

They already adapted Wild Things into a movie. Neve Campbell was in it. I enjoyed it. Twice.

Every Friday, I have to deal with getting some documents together into something that someone decided to refer to as "The package." And every Friday, I have to bite my tongue as people say things like "So to finalize my package, can I safely assume I have done my part in getting it in?"

That's also a hell of a lot of adventures. Either that, or Scrooge McDuck has a low threshold for what he considers to be an adventure. "Went to a convenience store without getting mugged again. Guess that's another coin in the bin!"

Why would ANY person have that many coins, regardless of their overall wealth?

Frasier was a brilliant sitcom that wasn't afraid to make jokes that the audience might not understand. The closest thing we have to that right now is Archer.

My resentment towards the redneck side of my family was enough for me to not even try watching The Ranch.

I went on it once not long after that happened. They had stationed duck guards there to prevent further fowl play.