I spent an entire flight from Vegas to LA - granted all of like 40 minutes - in the lavatory because I was fiercely hungover.

his incredible workload

Unpopular opinion - I loved the puck mouse. 

ESTEEMED character actress Margo Martindale, please.

As someone who worked in advertising for many years, I can tell you there’re certain brands you just don’t fuck with. Like ... don’t fuck with McDonalds. Don’t fuck with Coca-Cola. Ya know, brands that are firmly tied to American culture and history.

Let’s say you got $1 billion dropped in your lap. A lot of “normal” people would just sit back and say, you know what...I’m going to spend the rest of my life enjoying myself; there’s no way I could even spend that kind of money.

Yeah, because people who actually do that totally tell the internet.

Shrek is love. Shrek is life. 

Flagstaff is definitely not what people picture when hearing “city in Arizona.”

The difference is he’s the only one who spent billions on an internet megaphone to constantly let everyone know what a shitbag he is.

He’s fortunate that he can hope to get on a motorcycle again.

When I was younger, my mom told me that my grandma had a ‘57 Bel-Air.

Those denying the existence of robots may be robots themselves. 

The liquor’s calling the shots now, Randy.

When my oldest girl was a pup many years ago, I was a co-founder of a lil tech startup. When we were hiring, one of the rules was the candidate had to pass the Leona test.

This statement is a factual statement.

https://www.theonion.com/nation-could-have-sworn-russell-brand-was-already-convi-1850849838

That it’s a show for libertarian incels? 

That came out right as I was hitting puberty. “Iconic” is definitely a word to use.

“Army Of Me” is so fuckin cool.