“Something to note about all of these apps is their small file sizes, often just a few megabytes (yes, that’s megabytes)”
Yeah? What else would they be?

Until nuclear reactors run on coal, he’s not interested.

Heavily armed citizenry is the real mistake.

The scan also revealed a clock in his stomach.

Wow, losing the election really freed up Hillary Clinton’s artistic pursuits. You go, girl.

Not sure we’d want to meet anything that was bad-assed enough to live on Saturn.

I am increasingly sure this storm is actually on a trajectory to Jeff.

For five days, we were told it was going to be on the east coast, and then 24 hours before it hits, we’re now told it’s coming up the west coast,” 52-year-old entrepreneur Jeff Beerbohm told the AP. “As usual, the weatherman, I don’t know why they’re paid.

Not surprising. Fridges are only good for protecting you from nuclear blasts, not falling anvils.

So you’re Canadian I assume?

A man runs through the jungle. He is a hunted beast. His foe tracks him, swinging from trees, trying to get close enough to bite.

I feel like letting the wind take it causes the line to go diagonal making it a lot longer then it has to be. Not very efficient.

“I only want you to replace the bottom of my tires. The rest is fine. And NO YOU WILL NOT RIP ME OFF WITH AN ALLIGNMENT!”
Drives off like:

don’t make it out to be worse than it is, andrew - those tires are only flat on the bottom.

It’s a great shame that security cameras don’t have the necessary resolution to capture the expression on the face of that person strolling by.

you’re right. here’s one

Except for the parts where I mentioned that a) it’s going to be very small, b) could be bioluminescent, and c) could resemble tiny organisms around hydrothermal vents...yes, I see your point.

“YOU SILLY PERSON!”

the engine will only last 31,000 miles.

“... hit a set of spike strips going 115 MPH, subsequently barreled off of the road and into a drainage ditch, launched the truck into the air and landed on a car parked at a restaurant”