Heavily armed citizenry is the real mistake.

“I only want you to replace the bottom of my tires. The rest is fine. And NO YOU WILL NOT RIP ME OFF WITH AN ALLIGNMENT!”
Drives off like:

don’t make it out to be worse than it is, andrew - those tires are only flat on the bottom.

“YOU SILLY PERSON!”

the engine will only last 31,000 miles.

“... hit a set of spike strips going 115 MPH, subsequently barreled off of the road and into a drainage ditch, launched the truck into the air and landed on a car parked at a restaurant” 

Took me quite a long time to realize that the gas gauge has an arrow indicating which side the filler is on.

Correction: Image shows service attendant refilling blinker fluid- completely non-combustible.

This was pitch perfect. I’m pretty sure the real Spicer would love a podium he could pick up and beat people with.

Presumably a war with China would put a halt to all US/China trade; if this were to happen the US would lose access to pretty much all computer parts, cell phones, car electronics, and a million other types of household and business electronics. I don’t think it is even possible to buy a computer of any type that…

How long until he flies AF1 ?

He fixed all this with one single tweet, he’s so tremendously efficient !

She has the wrong skin color for a harsher sentence.

If your poop is metallic and shiny, please seek the attention of a physician.

Gabe should run for President. Seems right up his alley considering the terms stop at 2.

:(

what about the fans who are inspired by buu

Clarkson tackled this one, speed never killed anyone, suddenly coming to a stop is what does it.