This. Exactly. Some people are really thick.

I’m pretty sure sexually harassing people in course of your normal job function (i.e. interviewing them on your tv show, talking to them before interviewing them on your tv show) is inappropriate, unprofessional, and actionable. Good try, though. 

No shit. Is there a suicide hotline that can call him or something?

Jet fuel doesn’t melt rookie faces.

The depopulation of rural America as the economic efficiency and opportunities of metropolitan population centers draw residents has been taking place as long as we’ve had a country. You may have heard of this thing called The Great Migration, as just one example. I’m very sorry that the snowflakes of West Virginia…

So much winning. Really, the USFL just got tired of winning and that’s why they didn’t play the 1986 season.

The coastal elites “stole” coal? Bitch, please. Grow the hell up. They paid for it and the price asked for by the seller. If you want to complain about coal miners’ working conditions, talk to the mining companies and corrupt union officials like Tony Boyle who spent years claiming black lung, et al was not a thing…

“there’s no need for things like a lawyer in town, or that many hairdressers, or so many bankers, or so many merchants”

That’s correct there is no longer a need for those things. When cars replaced horses there was no longer a need for stablemen in most cities or blacksmiths. Economies change. Societies should change…

Yep. He’s literally making up numbers. He could have said he won eleventybillion percent of the Cuban vote.

It’s almost as if the purpose of energy consumption is something other than to provide jobs for undereducated white men from Kentucky.

If that little bit of reality is negatively impacted your community, rather than complaining, maybe look in the mirror and accept responsibility for relying on coal to keep you afloat…

Later in the brief, the Diamondback claimed the “many, many people say Chase Field is a dumb” and “believe me, this ballpark is a total, total disaster.”

I work in political communications and used to be a reporter. I assume when I’m talking to journalist friends, even in the most social/non-professional situations, that I’m on the record.

Hate to judge a think like that, ugh, before all of the facts are in.

I didn’t know we were calling Greyhound buses “flights.”

It’s not too late until we have 67 senators ready to vote for removal.

Meh. I’ll give him credit for acknowledging the GOP strategy toward Obama was nihilistic and bordered on sedition. First step on the road to recovery is admitting you have a problem.

You don’t need to tell me about the Faustian bargain. I do the best deals with the Faustians. I’ve done deals with them for many years. They’ve always been very nice to me. And we’ve done some tremendous deals. Believe me, these were very, very, very incredible deals. Many, many people have looked at my deals with the…

Yeah, I think something doing something involving kids—even totally normal things like taking them to school—so someone can get a sexual thrill is, yeah, it’s just gross. Leave your kids out of it.

“I extol the virtues of electrolytes to strangers...”

It’s so freaking absurd that a “what plants crave” joke almost seems too easy.

I can never feel too good about Collins. Her “independence” seems less about principle and more about deciding whether there is greater political advantage on an issue if she alienates her constituents to serve her caucus or alienates her caucus to serve her constituents. #SenatorSmarm