Not a restaurant story, but the movie theatre story reminded me:

That’s how they melt the cheese, right?

“Well, I’ve already done one, guess I’d pick the other...” and then leave him guessing which one.

It’s export-only because we refuse to drink it. I haven’t seen it for sale here since the early 80s. (The equivalent standard swills that everyone drinks here are VB, Carlton, or Tooheys.)

Can confirm. Source: going to Australia twice and being told quite bluntly by everyone, including bartenders. Sometimes unprompted.

My answer (which seems to have vanished into the greys), would be similar:

No Australian drinks that Fosters crap!

I can only hope that I would answer that question by looking the asker dead in the eye and saying, “That would depend on the human being to be killed.”

RE: Gina’s story: The Simpsons taught us the opposite long, long ago.

I was truly hoping this was going to end with you telling that girl that it wouldn’t be free if she just gave it to you.

I kinda feel like the Pizza hut manager didn’t really have a leg to stand on either legally or otherwise. I mean if your service is so bad that people are ordering takeout to be delivered, that’s on you as the manager.

I also worked at a Subway (so glad to hear these are your favorite stories). My story is short but fucked up: I worked there when I was 16, and was often left alone. This was in a small New England town before the present heroin/pill epidemic became a problem. so that was really no big deal, plus my parents lived a 10…

There is a well-known theory in quantum physics known as the Many Worlds Theory. In essence, it states that there are an infinite number of universes with an infinite number of permutations.

There’s a specialist steak restaurant here (Melbourne, Australia) that takes exactly that approach. They don’t even ask you how you want it done, the chef cooks it as he thinks appropriate, & you eat it or fuck off.

“EAT YOUR SHAME CREATIONS IN SOLITUDE LIKE THE REST OF US, FREAK!”*

I would pay good money for a Deli-orean.

A whiteness of teenage girls ordering frappuccinos.

Coffee stories and going to coffee stories make me laugh so hard now...I learned a fantastic game when I got sent to Qatar to assist an Air Force base. I am former Army, so going to the Air Force can be either really entertaining or horrifying based on how good the location is. In this case...it was horrifying.

NO MORE WIRE HANG- er, I mean, NO STRAWS!