I wanted a 3 tier square shape, small and simple. My ex husbands mother claimed to be the cake boss of the rural south and “could whip that up easy peasy.” She kept me up to date on cake progress and everything she was super stoked, and I bought the hype. Come the day of our wedding (April fools day actually) we get…

“You’re Can-Can-Cancer Free”

He actually managed to make someone feel bad for beating cancer.

There are guys complaining that she should have just told him “no” from the start but really???

Thank you, Pinkham. As I am at work, I cannot give these stories there proper emotionally response. So instead, this has been my expression and feeling for the past 10 minutes.

“and then, once he’d left the store, [I] scrubbed the counter top down with a metric fuckton of disinfectant.”

“Having a drunken stranger stalk you and show up in his underwear in your apartment is a beautiful thing!” He shouted at me. “Why are you treating it like it’s dirty?”

Oh he’s definitely a subscriber:

I think what one considers to be the most horrifying tells you a lot about a person. Clicked expecting bodily functions, got stories of personal violation and shame. Am now a little disappointed in myself for thinking the former is what I had considered to be most horrifying. Good on you, Pinkham.

I want a fork to go with my monogrammed thermos, but not for free. It’s not free if you give it to me.

I really wish I had enough submissions to do a “Customers Who Think They’re So Goddamn Clever.”

There’s a restaurant here in Glasgow that is considered to be one of Glasgow’s, if not Scotland, if not one of the UK’s finest. And it’s totally not what people expect. But the food is amazing, the setting is beautiful and the staff are friendly, etc. One night, I was entertaining two colleagues of mine from over the…

She still makes a show of weighing the cup and declares it not dry enough.