Wait, wasn’t that a John Denver song?

I really don't think that's what U2 is referring to...

You probably remember the quadratic equation from algebra class, right? ax^2+bx +c=0?

Better get a...

“Agreed—it’s important to wear the helmet you’re used to.”

Every now and then I fall apart...

I’m loving Jezebel’s sports coverage.

In the past I’ve had Christian and conservative students shyly approach me to say how happy they were to finally find a professor who was open in his beliefs.

“Honestly, this isn’t very newsworthy.”

I think you just put forward the most definitive example of damning with faint praise...

No, Cherenkov radiation is radiation that’s introduced in the first act of the play, which you know will be significant by the third act.

I always figured that Swedish prison uniforms would have been designed by ABBA.

This.  In agriculture, speed = acres per hour, not miles.  So you get Big Bud or a Steiger Tiger or something else moseying along at five or six miles per hour, but covering 32' of width the whole way.

Because you used their name in your  their comment, you’re not allowed to update or modify it in any way. You’ll need to have a John Deere technician come on site to help you do so. 

Enough about the BMW X7, can we get back to the tractor now?

Deere me, that’s fast!

If he were honest he would have said “I’m going to do violence on you, because I just want to.”

“But it is a heavy burden. So heavy that none could lay it on another. I do not lay it on you. But if you take it freely, I will say that your choice is right; and though all the mighty elf-friends of old, Hador, and Húrin, and Túrin, and Beren himself were assembled together your seat should be among them.”

Salt Bae sounds like a geological feature 

of course he did.