Tamir Rice :/

My man Leonard Pitts! This gentleman has worked his ass off for years trying to make us woke before we know what woke meant. My, life (shit I’m old), I’ve read damn near every column he’s written for 30 or so years, and while i havent agreed with every take, hes always been like the good angel on the shoulder of…

Thoughts and prayers for your phone/marriage once the Mom’s call your wife to have the “Do you know what phrase you husband taught my kid?” calls.

Classic...they’re the right color and everything...

I made the mistake of going to the comments under a tweet about her White House visit comments. It was predictably bad, but I did discover a good term for all the flag-humpers and anthem worshipers...

“He is clearly a candidate for not just college but probably for a good college,” Troiano reportedly said. According to the Times”

I can understand why Toupee Fiasco is upset because Heaven knows, he would never, ever use HIS attorney general for anything as nefarious (not his word, by the way).

This is a really amazing moment. An artist with a young fan base topping the chart for months, hits diamond, and tells the world he’s gay.

“And we’ll have their favorite food, which I understand is called a Royale with Cheese.”

You laugh until she announces her cabinet

Your dirty talk must be amazing. Like a BBC history documentary. 

I was ready to declare the Foul Ball Feature by far the most important/best thing on Deadspin this week, but this has knocked it from the perch. Tom: thank you, for the fearless journalism. A grateful nation salutes you.

Or the Madlib theory when they [verb] a bunch of [plural noun] all [preposition] a [place.]

I’m hoping they move and rebrand as Rayons du Diable.

I realize you got a Crocodile in Spelling, but it’s “whose.”

How in the hell is that the face of a professional athlete? Jason Vargas looks like he picked up baseball after his pearl jam coverband disbanded. 

Florida won’t exist in 40 years. The time to switch allegiances is now! 

The Knicks will split the difference. They’ll pay him the max but Dolan will also ban him from entering MSG for life.

Hi, Jean here.

Just came by to let you know there was a problem with our system and you won’t be getting a paycheck this month.

Or next month.

Or the month after.

Your grandchildren will eventually get them, tho. It just might take a while to sort through the mess.

From: Gordon McKenzie (g.mac@outlook.ca)