You can be my manspread and I’ll be your bread
Ride it like the Subway, I ain’t no Jared.
Take a stab at it, wait, no, the opposite
Don’t catch a case, I’ll bring the softdrink.

#PoemsForJezebel

I think he secretly wanted to get arrested, otherwise he wouldn’t have been sitting like that.

Sorry dude, maybe if you didn’t want to get caught you should have kept your legs shut.

My old roomate used to call those “mustache bugs”. It’s like your grandpa’s grey mustache crawling along the wall!

DadJeans

Once you think about it, Kanye West is a black Donald Trump.

“The sustainability of the regime.”

These charts have been floating around the interwebs for a while now, but my reaction’s still this.

Further proving this was never about her religious beliefs if she is altering forms that other people have signed. She hates gay people, period.

I think he had an intent.

“we cannot allow items on campus that can be perceived to pose a threat.”

Cougar Fontana. IN YOUR FACE!

When did Kris announce her(his?) transition?!?!

Kris, “genius” is not plural for genie. No amount of Kylie’s rubbing is going to make something good come out of that.

I crave all forms of comeuppance in this instance. Though maybe she’ll have a fling with Huckabee. That’d be good.

“Punchable Trio” needs to be a song. Or the name of our new punk band!

These candidates are not Pro-Life, they are Pro-Birth, pro-revenge, pro-control. They don’t give a damn about the mother or the baby. It’s all about controlling mommy and her influence over them. These Republicans are only interested in shaming women about their bodies to feel superior to mommy. They are afraid to…

It’s amazing that a beard can take a guy from date rape face to craft beer cuddles.

Well, clearly all his bus riding experience informs his perspective: women either have amazing thighs but have an eye patch or Amelie Poulain eyes with deep vein thrombosis in their upper legs.