The final irony - the box she dropped contained the nano bubbles that would have prevented her injury.

So he golfs like Mr Burns? Smithers! Get me an open-faced club. The sand wedge!

Golf sucks.

WHY’D YOU PUT THE BANANAS IN THERE???!?!?!!

MENDOOOOOZAAAAAAA

All of Jacksonville is a living Lynyrd Skynyrd museum.

Defensive guys who let a dude throw for almost 500 yards talking shit lol. I hate the Steelers but most of their problem was their shitty coach and his brain dead offensive coordinator.

I feel for you.

That was pretty unkül of you. 

But the truth is that the athletes you should trust most are the ones who aren’t trying to sell you anything at all.

You know else who wasn’t appreciated for all they did? Bridget Moynahan.

Highly recommend checking out Desus & Mero’s appearance on Garbage Time. Ç’est Magnifique.

“The Page Sixstory includes a picture of Haberkorn bleeding from the head.”

Season tix all 57 years in our family...this is a ball they presented to us with my grandfather’s first initial.

My accountant laughed at me when I sold all my stock and invested in folding tables and upstate New York based emergency rooms. WHO’S LAUGHING NOW?

One must come into MMA fandom knowing that sometimes, it’s sickeningly violent. The Spider kicking and snapping his leg, the massive gashes delivered to foreheads, noses smushed to the side like fresh clay.

“Penultimate” For the last 150 years it was “Next to last” and then, like three years ago, somebody dusted off a Latin book and pulled this diddy out, probably ironically, and now everybody fires it off all the time with no regard for the fact that the next to last of anything isn’t particularly interesting at all.…

I did a Kettle Marathon last weekend. Ma and Pa for 26.2 hrs.

Nah, one of his uncles was described as “a confirmed bachelor” and we know perfectly well what that means.