If, when following these instructions, I find myself inhabiting the body of th ebug, is there any danger that I may have been pushed back in time and find myself then trapped in my monitor, ready to be crushed by myself?

You will need a screwdriver, a pair of tweezers, a magnifying glass (optional), some salt (~1tbsp), and a bag of chicken feed, preferably corn-based.

Best Kotaku article I’ve ever read, along with a valuable life lesson.

Thank god they’ve got excellent health care!

Uhhh... The most disastrous music festival of all time might actually be the one where over 500 people were injured and 21 people all died having their rib cages crushed by their fellow festival goers. The Fyre Festival was a failure - the Love Parade was an actual disaster. And let’s not forget Pukkelpop, where the…

Sue Simmons by day. Sue Storm by night

Thinking about this one gets me through emotional moments, such as “Taps” at my grandfather’s funeral. It’s unclear from this version, but there’s a cockroach on the floor.

Maybe we talk to the Obama girls about how they felt about pics of their father being hung

She’s so full of shit. Like Trump, Griffin lives for publicity, good or bad. She did this knowing exactly what the reaction would be and she knew her career wouldn’t suffer because the Red Staters weren’t part of her fan base to begin with (she may have also thought that this would make her a hero to the left.) She…

What in the Earth-shitting hell is going on here? She’s a very smart woman. Lisa Bloom is a very smart woman.

It’s part of why FOX News is getting slammed in the ratings. The audience will flip the channel if they can’t get their fix of watercooler news. They hate feeling out of the loop when it comes to the biggest news stories.

Meh this is a school that covered up the rape of a student leading to her suicide because they needed him for football. Pence isn’t far off what the school actually believes.

Comey is just a big old showboat! How dare he stand taller than baby fists and how dare he try to take attention away from the curtains by standing against them. I do have to say though, if Comey is a showboat Trump is a damn trashboat.

6-foot-8 dude hiding in the curtains, or anywhere for that matter. This has to be a script for a political farce, but I ain’t laughing.

Finally, they plan to cut the loan forgiveness program, which was instituted in 2007 as a way to encourage matriculating students to enter careers in public service. Obviously, if you don’t care about the services social workers, public defenders, and doctors provide for the poor, you don’t care about helping them…

Quite frankly, it’s because we’re fucking stupid and deserve every bite of the shit sandwich we’re eating.