Because NP?

As someone who was in the Army during 9/11 I can personally say that I do not feel offended in anyway by kneeling football players. Obviously as one person among the ~1.3M people in the military, my opinion is anecdotal and not a blanket belief by all veterans, but I have a hard time imagining many of the other…

Not the Antonio Brown come back story I expected.

Same with a man and an unzipped fly

I’m guessing so it would fit in a suit jacket pocket. Literally playing it close to the vest.

Believe me, she knew how far up her butt it was. 

You stare for exactly 3.5 seconds, and slowly walk away.

I’m surprised they don’t have to fight off moose that share the water with them during every meet.

I’m not sure I’d want to see Intergluteal Cleft opening for anyone.

I’m not sure I’d want to see Intergluteal Cleft opening for anyone.

Also makes a perfect Mojito

The Ace-and-Gary-Mobile rendering is what Musk secretly pilots in his moonlighting job as a superhero

It has to be that big. Twice a year I tow a 12-foot travel trailer. 

Most laughable is the bit about long-term battery health as if Audi gives a fuck about reliability outside of their warranty.

If conversion therapy is so effective, why do the Saints carry a punter on their roster?

“To accomplish both requires either a camera that can recognize your face or a fingerprint reader that works through the display.”

Funny, they told me the opposite if i stopped holding my Marvel Comics in public i might get a girlfriend.

I’ll have to wait/look elsewhere until a 280mph Bugatti SUV shows up. I have a stroller to haul and my wife wants the better view of traffic.

I think eventually most things become terrible for the environment. I’ve read that some of the reusable bags aren’t much better, from a resource perspective at least. That’s why I’m trying to get everyone to switch to cargo pants. It’s like a reusable bag that you wear!

I did it for the gram too