Colin Firth is a gift. He is sweet and thoughtful and everything that is good in this world. I literally have a framed photo of him on my mantle.

That is absolutely what I imagine happened. Because they’re so secure in their masculinity, they can rub cocks all day and it’s still not gay. Pussy is #1.

When I worked front desk at a hotel, we used to have a contest going of who could say “good deal” the most during a check-in. (The record was 18.) Maybe they’ve got a similar game with “last week.”

It depends on the cat. I’ve had two diabetic cats (my parents take in a lot of strays...) and one was a nightmare and hissed and scratched every time she got her blood sugar tested or got a shot, and the other one was a peach. The second one learned that he felt better after a shot, and would come to us when he didn’t…

+10 for Welsh.

UGH.

UGH.

It claims it’s in stock but it won’t let me check out!

It claims it’s in stock but it won’t let me check out!

I’m so bitter that the avocado wristlet is sold out. I’m not willing to shell out more than $30 on a silly, tiny bag, but I really liked that one.

I’m so bitter that the avocado wristlet is sold out. I’m not willing to shell out more than $30 on a silly, tiny…

He told a story on Jonathan Ross about waking up naked in bed with a man (and a cat, and a gun...), you can’t really keep your 100% totally straight card after that.

yahhhh gurrrrllll

Drake stayed in my hotel in Dallas and his tour manager fought me over having to pay to park 7 tour buses overnight. #NoDrakeInDallas2k16

A law that removes the onus of blame from the perpetrator of the action is a step in a very bad direction for all kinds of court cases. Ignoring humanity’s free will is so scary. Drugs are not an attractive nuisance, the seller does not force the user to overdose. Once we have precedent of this, what’s to stop us from…

She might be crazy and unreasonable now, but she could mama bear the shit out of a situation if she needed to.

I got in trouble for reading ahead ALL THE TIME. Solidarity.

My high school gym teachers told me, in front of the entire class, that I was fat and worthless and that I would never amount to anything because I couldn’t run a mile. That didn’t motivate me to do anything but avoid exercise. On the upside, I did ream her out for about 20 minutes and then called my mother from the…

As a fellow survivor, I’ve found that anyone that angry at rape survivors is usually a rapist.

I’m so glad the two of them have found happiness together. They deserve it!

Tyga isn’t exactly known for his business acumen. I wouldn’t be surprised to find out he didn’t get too far into the whole professional legal business ownership thing.

T-shirt silk-screeners...?

Actually yeah, I do. I also don’t eat at Chik-fil-A or watch Woody Allen movies. It’s really not that hard to not give my money to people who I find repugnant.