But damn. It is a video clip.

And not using elevators is taking a job away from an elevator maintenance man. It’s like people who say you shouldn’t take a shit on the floor in the movies.

I might have to do some research, but his name might have been Otis. That’s just a guess, though.

Answer: whenever you want. That's your birthright as an American. I'd take an elevator up to the halfth-floor, if such a thing existed.

I take the elevator if I have to fart because I am a bad person.

Full disclosure: You’re lying about not caring

Someone in that family finally took a good shot.

The police were able to immediately rule out Dion’s involvement, since the shot was made.

GODDAMN THAT’S FOUR IF YOU COUNT KYLE SINGLER’S CAREER

Clifford's Dad ^

that’s an incredibly lame reason to learn a language

Yeah, but the stalker has announced that Erin Andrews is appealing.

How do you reconcile that?

Can’t our athletes just train in Flint to inoculate themselves of the dangers of Brazilian water?

^^^ Trying too hard

Whoah there. Don’t defend the actions of men, and student athletes at that. YOU MUST LOVE RAPE.

“He frightens Tickle Monster!! Tickle Monster can't tickle all those muscles!"

Shut up, Byron.

Oh shit, I bet they’ve never thought to apply basic arithmetic to their advertising practices! You’re a genius!

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