What? And make them fat?

cnn already trying to start drama:

This is what's in that murky black water

My take away from this is that Keanu is Batman.

and scoring multiple times on Thai women...

Bob Kraft’s only crime was an explosion of joy, too.

Two stories.

No, it’s not odd. I take it very seriously, because I don’t like the stress of driving like a maniac and running through the airport. I travel a good bit, and I always triple-check everything, show up plenty early, etc. If I run into problems, it’s the airline’s fault, not mine.

I was standing inline to use the lavatory on a flight and an elderly gentleman came out the bathroom with a glowing blush. Not sure what was up I walked in the bathroom and found what I can only describe as a poop periscope. It was sticking a couple inches above the toilet seat. I give the guy credit because he…

This must be why the Preacher always got mad after I thanked him when he’d cum in my face.

This is kind of what I do, I never tip when the barista isn’t looking because that’s when I pull a couple bills out of the tip jar. Then when they look I stuff it all back in and look like a hero. It’s much cheaper this way, not sure why everyone doesn’t do this. 

Stood there motionless like his hands were nailed to that bat.

Of all people, you’re surprised that this guy abstains from being a swinger when he encounters another dude in an unfamiliar position?

I didn’t go to the game. You didn’t go to the game.

In Russia, Soyuz shocks lighting.

I think this guy is a pigeon. Even their username is a pigeon-sound.

They're just pigeons. 

They have fucked up the federal judiciary for a generation and a half. 

the list of players attending sounds about white

These are ours - all former foster dogs! Thanks for promoting adopting from rescues rather than buying from pet stores. Mutts are the same amazing animals as purebreds. And they tend to have fewer health issues too.