In the AAF, the people are represented by two separate yet equally important groups. The players who were suckered into wasting months of their life, and the owners who will somehow cash out and profit on an obvious disaster. These are their stories.

“This Is The Face Of A Man Getting Pulled . . .

“God has called me to my peaceful place. Even with the loud music and lights and all, a strip club can be like a church. God makes it rain in all ways.”

I would like to take this opportunity to call attention to the Orioles and their Kids Cheer Free ticket opportunity and discounts available on apparel and concessions.

PICTURED: That monkey

Let me go for a ride in a stanced VW.

Cleveland will be different now that the fishermen are no longer the only ones hauling in sick catches.

Please forward this to Drew as an early submission for WYTS: Giants Edition—

With Lori Loughlin involved in this, I think it’s safe to say that this scandal is going to be everywhere you look.

At the end of this whole thing, Cassie will grudgingly get together with Colton, likely with some financial inducement by ABC so she gives the show its “fairy tale” ending.

The joke’s on him when he has to reflect on the horror’s he’s participated in and tries to escape with his son by flying away only to have his son perish when his wings melt and he falls into the ocean.

Married to a teacher at an “it’ll never happen here” suburban elementary school. For someone who still gets (endearingly) swearing mad when she gets stood up for a parent-teacher conference, she is almost robotically matter-of-fact about incorporating lockdown rehearsals and active shooter drills into her…

Is he venomous? I assume he’s venomous.

The problem with championship parades is that they always take place on a weekday, so when New England sends its people, they’re not sending their best. They’re not sending people who have jobs and contribute to society. They’re sending people that have lots of problems, and they’re bringing those problems with us.…

Not surprising. Boston fans are known for getting bombed at parades.

I’m not a football fan, but my kid is, so I watched the game with him. About midway though the third, I asked the question, “Does every team that plays against the Pats just somehow forget that Edelman is on the roster? Does he have the power of invisibility until right before the snap?” How does anyone allow him to…

GOLF. clap.

Playstation FOOOUUURRRR!

This is such bullshit. The girls in Kid Electron’s school use their JoJo bows as a means of exclusion. You don’t have a JoJo bow? You can’t sit with us. You have a JoJo bow? Well, it came from Target and not from Claire’s, so you can’t sit with us. Oh, you have a Claire’s JoJo bow? Well, it’s the wrong shade of clown…

Fucking Trump's still in office and the Patriots are in the Super Bowl again. 2019 can already eat a dick