Damn Ray. When you saw that picture after really advocating for Kaepernick it must have felt like you got stabbed in the back.

Then what would keep his hair from skittering away?

If you see this on a tweet, it’s a dead giveaway:

It was back in the days when the airlines treated the people in coach like. . well . .people. you had the leg room & arm room that your good clothes weren’t going to get crushed & stained. When you got served real meals with real silver ware & I remember cloth napkins on international flights. I remember bathrooms…

nope, I’m wearing mesh shorts, a t-shirt, and flip flops. Every time. Order two gin and tonics, headphones in, watching my downloaded netflix shows. don’t care where I’m sitting. don’t talk to me and I won’t talk to you.

The more clothes/accessories you’re wearing, the bigger pain in the ass the TSA is. Suit jackets, non-slip off shoes, cuff links & tie clips that set off the detector, being told to loosen the tie itself, belts. I’d much rather go through looking like a schlub to people I will never see again and don’t care about than…

Poop; it’s the central experience of parenthood. My wife and I had two daughters, the first in 1980. We hired a diaper service that delivered clean cloth diapers every week and hauled away the dirty ones. That meant that the poopy diapers lingered in our home for a week. No combination of sealed container and…

Cilantro is pretty vile.

While this is awesome, these kind of stories give me pause as to the state of my home and the impression it would give to FBI raiders. Like was I really too tired to throw my clothes in the hamper last night? Would the FBI guys sit around the office post pre-dawn raid and muse “hey did you see tornado’s underpanties…

I think because I’ve done social media professionally in the past I’ve gotten especially forgiving of different user modalities... People interpret social spaces online *so* differently.

To all the angry charger fans:

My favorite part of the Niners’s downfall is it’s entirely self inflicted. They drove out a good coach who had a good quarterback (who was benched and pushed out) and they fucked up a perennial good team with lots of talent (and young talent!) to this disaster. They had what was quite literally the perfect situation…

How about someone punch him in the dick?

I just chose Mr T to be my waze navigation voice. He hollers, “Make a left, sucka!”

If someone could only make me rich, I’ll show these assholes how it’s done.

I certainly would spend less time trying to be Secretary of State, and more time living on my private Caribbean island, Rumsexparty Cay.

Yeah my 70s experience was kind of the same. Only without priceless art.

The only main exceptions to this are bones (and then you better be suckin’ them dry), crustacean shells, and cilantro.

I for one welcome our new world where aunt May is hot.

I’ll never forget the time some poor white children came to my door begging for money. I offered them some change for whatever goods they could procure.