I know. It’ll be interesting to see if he changes his style.

I counter with Ricky Gervais.

Louis CK is an asshole. I called it the moment I saw the first youtube clip of his standup, years ago.

As a proud member of Menstrual Cup Club, I am obligated to follow the first rule of Menstrual Cup Club, which is you always talk about Menstrual Cup Club.

Man falls asleep under a tree, drunk as a skunk, still wearing his kilt.
Comely girl comes along, realizes a golden opportunity to confirm or dispel the myth, lifts the kilt to find out. Behold, nudity! So she removes the blue ribbon from her hair and puts it round the dick, replaces the kilt, and goes on her way.
Man…

It’s time to bring up the Chinese restaurant again:

Ohhhh man I needed this. I did laugh at the kilt story. Growing up, I was told so many times by my dad (he’s Scottish) to NEVER ask what’s under the kilt. EVER.

I can’t believe I’m about to type this:

I made her keep her promise!

Jesus. That right there is the damned if you do. damned if you don’t situation all women face.

So I kept count and here we are! I made her keep her promise!

Maybe everything really DOES all boil down to that biggests of all benefits of aging— Giving Fewer Fucks! Every time I think of what’s great about staring down the barrel of 50, it all comes back to Giving Fewer Fucks somehow.

Yes! It’s the best thing about 40. Cunthood. I’ve wrapped my shoulders in it like a cape, and unsheath it readily with no fear of being branded a cunt or bitch. Bring me my crown of cuntiness.

One time a workman told my husband that the reason the invoice was different from what I had told my husband pay (I had talked to the workman initially) was because “women are bad at math”. My husband just put the checkbook away without paying, and said “I will let her know what you had to say. And may god have mercy…

If being a woman means knowing about curtains and doilies, a lot of us ladies are right fucked in that department.

He’s smart too. There is nothing wrong with admitting having a different skill set. He knows you understand everything about vehicles and leans on that. I’m sure he has a skill set you use as well.

HA. I’m a mechanic (ex aircraft A&P, currently working in specialty heavy duty automotive/truck parts) and my boyfriend can’t pop the hood of his car. Whenever he takes it into the mechanic he ALWAYS calls me and gets so much shit from the guys at the shop. He gives no fucks and fully and PROUDLY admits I know more…

When I was 25, I didn’t know how to properly call people out without sounding like a cunt. Because, not sounding like a cunt was important to me at 25 and, therefore, in my attempts to not sound like one, I came across as the most annoying 15 year old Tumblr SJW you can think of.

At 40, however, I have no problem…

Phone call between my husband and cold calling boiler room stock broker:

Because the two options are "rape" or "nothing" right? Nice false equivalence.