Thus proving that the Grammy Awards have turned into a hive of scum and villainy.

"Day 1 on the job is done, but we’re only getting started. Now where do I find the penises?" - Betsy DeVos on Twitter

Ass-Fucking? Inconceivable!

I thought that was PestNest.

At some point, the Supreme Court turned into Fight Club. But nobody seems to want to talk about it.

No dogs allowed… or demogorgons.

What's the weirdest place you've ever had the urge to make whoopie?

German Chocolate was, by far, the best. Coconut, chocolate, walnuts, fudge… absolutely delicious when I had the craving for chocolate. All these candy bar and cookie creations have too many things going on in them. There was something awesomely delicious about the simple beauty found in chocolate, shaved coconut, and…

Sentences?

Come on over to my lawn, Alien Jesus. You can yell at the clouds all you want from here with me.

I'll go get a straw…

Augh! Rotten humor!

Hillary is more of a Chik-fil-A kinda gal.

With that single nod of his head, he "spoke" for an entire generation.

How did you know?!

"I give Sucker Punch nine Jell-O Pops in the mouth."
- Bill Cosby

Does it really matter?

Marital things? You're finally opening up a joint checking account?

I, too, would like to see Dan go in a tragic rimming accident. Not that I would actually like to witness the event, just to know that he had followed his own typically insipid advice, something went tragically wrong, and he paid the ultimate price for his own loud-mouthed incompetence.

And my virtual chastity belt, too!